I realize that if you're reading this you may be having some emotions. Regardless of how you feel, it's too late to change anything.
I'm writing this blog post here because the only person who reads this is my stalker, and he will probably be glad that I have finally decided to take my own life and leave this miserable plane of existence, even if I have to bury my soul in the deepest hells, i will not stop until I obliterate my own soul. I do not want to be reincarnated. I do not want to exist.
If you're reading this and you think you once loved me, I can tell you that no one in my life knows what love is. I wasn't loved. I was hated at worst, tolerated at best. In my darkest moments I was left alone and I'm my greatest need I was abandoned. Here I am as a grown man, and I've reached my end.
Currently I live with two individuals who make me feel unwelcome and unsafe. I bought a large bus, hoping that I would be able to repair it and live alone somewhere away from everyone but I can't even find help to do that and I barely have enough money to live. I'm scrapping by the skin of my teeth.
I sacrificed my heart and soul for nothing. People took my work and made money off of it and didn't pay me a thing due to "integrity". Leaving me destitute and with nothing. And me, thinking that what I was doing was somehow honorable and noble. Instead I'm an idiot ready to kill myself now out of shame and humiliation.
If you're reading this, know that in the moment of my death I will curse this world and everyone in it and I will face God and beg him to burn my existence from the fabric of reality. There is no longer any love in my heart and my consciousness would rather end itself than hurt another.
The only thing I wish for you, reader, is to know that in the end, I was unloved. It doesn't matter what you do in this world, it matters not without love.
May you have everything that you deserve.
