The Full Reveal

 "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what they've done."

Revelations 22:12

Holy Bible

Abrahamic Faith, Branch: Christianity, Modern Day

***


I think it is time that I start expanding on the truth that I have born witness to in my lifetime. But first there is something that I must come clean about. 

Many of my posts on social media have been nothing more than to directly antagonize a man who has violently stalked me since 2014. I never would have realized that the members of my own community and government would use a false testimony of a man who has never met me, and claims to know me through his obsessive viewing of my personal interviews. Up until I spent time in jail because of this man, it was mostly a game for me. A way for me to express my anger at an individual who represents all the bad qualities of every senior leadership that I've ever had. A man who is cowardly by nature, a gossip, and an endangerment to others because he places his own ego first before the consideration of truth or justice. 

A man who I will see in the witness stand give this false testimony in front of God and the entire world.

Something that I'd never really thought I'd have to say. 

Since leaving Jail my life has been in constant danger. Police stalk me as I walk my dog, follow if I'm in a vehicle, and have most likely kept surveillance of me since standing up to the bullies who have taken over my town and made it too expensive to live. The court prosecutor, Matt Jennings, should be disbarred for using my stalker's tabloid blog as his own findings, purposely seeking to damage my terrible reputation. 

If you can't tell I don't care about my reputation, all I care about is the truth and justice. I know that the only thing that I've ever done wrong in this lifetime is to pull that trigger. I was a good Christian boy until they told me that god wanted me to do it. And that wasn't the God that my great grandfather told me about. 

I know in my heart that I was always meant to be a warrior and a priest, but I cannot call what I participated in the military as anything close to warriorship, and when I tried to step into that world my anxieties and guilt crushed my will to go on and the emotional burden gave me a glimpse into hell. I'm unsure of what happened the week of my injury. I gave it my best and I wish they would have let me die in that hospital. I'm sorry, JSOC, but you may have done a disservice by letting me live with that guilt and the hatred for the scum you have let among your ranks. I guess I feel like I was lied to. I wanted to believe in all my heart in the mission, the fight. I committed the Art of War to heart for you. Of course, my pilots would admonish me for "being a philosopher." 

When I went to Norway I went to connect with my ancestor's gods. I never told anyone this, because mythology is so looked down upon my many people in my journey. I tell it now because this is important to discuss before Samhain. 

I am the Last and Only Living priest of the God Tyr. I did the old rituals. I called the old magics. I was filled with the spirit of Justice and Battle. My blood burned and my soul burst. My son's mother almost poisoned my spirit. The pain my heart has endured.... 

And the pain it will endure. I know it. I think that it is this spirit that has protected and guided me through everything I've done. I say this now because as my previous blog, a Joint Special Operations Command knife was thrown at me. It has the engraving "So That Others May Live," engraved on the blade. The Pararescue motto. JSOC has put a hit out on my life. The ones that really taught me everything. The ones that taught me to "Return With Honor." What I have been seeking all along. 

I have told the truth in every bit of publication I have given my consent to. I believe that the path of right action is the only way to go. In order to get into a place of silence we need to loudly address the injustices of the world. The only way for JSOC and the military to gain their honor back is to never let themselves be used for political gain. The Way of the Warrior dictates that battle can only be met honorably if the leaders who send one to battle are righteous. To be sent into battle by unrighteous men, even if the soldiers have righteous hearts, is a sentence to whatever hell awaits one in the afterlife. To take any life is murder, no matter the cause. 

Now we have a government who lets their own people die, and blames them for it. Keeps them in abject poverty instead of adhering to the responsibility of taking care of those who have been put under their charge. The political leadership of both the Democrats and the GOP is goddaweful and needs to be dismantled immediately. 

Here is what I'm calling for. I don't think that the American People has what it takes to make a revolutionary change that will be beneficial for all. I think the police are corrupt and the politicians are tyrants holding on to whatever scraps of power they can by exercising arrests of free men and women everywhere. 

There needs to be a military coup. If everything that JSOC taught me was true, honor, integrity, justice, then this is the only way to for the military to redeem themselves. I will go into detail about why. Donald Trump and his entire cabinet needs to be arrested and placed under military arrest. Same goes with Wallstreet and all the Lobbyists that work for corporate interests. Since corporations are now people, the individuals that are their CEOs, that have placed profit over the welfare of the people and government should be arrested and tried as well. Then we go with Senior Democratic and Republican leadership, for betraying this country to the highest bidder. 

Here is why this needs to happen and the process that will go along with it. 

Without the US Military's help, her people are vulnerable. Veterans are not getting the care they need, the entire VA is a joke. There are great people inside it, but the system that they are forced to collide with every day is meant to help the veterans as little as possible. Sun Tzu says in the Art of War that no country ever gained victory from fighting a protracted war. Our warriorship has been betrayed by the merchant and political classes.

The Tyranny that we are told about being overseas only waited until the Strong men and women were gone to those imaginary fights. They have taken the technology that was created to protect our troops in battle and now subjugate their own people with it.  The police, whom I had always trusted growing up, has now been infiltrated by mobsters and criminals. A gang unto themselves. 

I love honorable guards. That's what I used to think of the police as, Knights patrolling the kingdom. I was an idealist as a child. I never feared  a thing because I had thought all the terrible things were history and fiction. I remember when my sister's father went to war in the Gulf War, I remember people saying that we won it so fast that there would never be a war again. We showed how superior our might was. 

It was the police at home that kept the peace. But as I've grown up and realize is that the police forgot discipline and duty. Not to the Law, anyone can make up rules, but to the protection of all in the community, especially the weak and those that couldn't fight for themselves. I would rather have bored guards that are paid well to maintain their discipline than busy guards who make shit up to do because they're disgruntled with life. It was lazy police officers that jump to conclusions and have given me terrible times. I believe with better detective work, that the protectors of my community would have been on my side, that those that seek to represent justice are doing so. 

Is that too much to ask? To be better? 

Do you know what Enlightenment or Revelation is? Simply a reveal of yourself. That's it. To see yourself fully and unjudgementally. To understand yourself, and to be the best representative of that self, wherever you go. It's really not hard. What is that Self? It is no thing, but it produces the most wonderful things that you will never find a molecule of. Love, Mercy, Justice. These things are uniquely ours to give. 

So how are they measured? They are measured by intelligence, emotion, and intuition. We all know when we've been wronged or when we've wronged somebody. There are many time's it's unintentional, and I think that too many people care about other's personal opinions of themselves. Which is one of the reasons that I will always win against my stalker rat because he really cares about my opinion of him. Really the only reason that I will win against anyone in my stance for justice because I stand for Truth and nothing but the Truth, so help me, God.

I also encourage others to take a good look at themselves. I don't speak from a very high platform. I'm guilty of murder. I just know what I've done and I've done everything in my power to bring me peace with it. 

Right now I sleep like a baby and I've never felt better. However, the pain in my heart has never disappeared. It's like a permanent wound in my soul. The darkness is gone, purged in the fire of the old world, but the broken heart has never healed. That's why I can never take a leadership position in anything nor accept any measure of power. I've done everything I can to distance myself from everything but the truth. 

The truth is this. I am furious at what has gone on in my country. That I have been lied to, harassed, stalked, and violently attacked for trying to do the right thing. The manipulation of my heart has been astounding, and I leave everyone with what they have taken. All debts are forgiven. All trespasses are forgiven. I know that I will not get justice in my own home town. It is too corrupt and the people have proven to me to be too few and too cowardly, too weak. 

That is why the military has to step up and restore their honor, and have the discipline to step down and hand the government over to the People when those that have abused their power have been arrested and charged with treason of the highest order. We need warriors who are the greatest servants to humanity that it has ever known. And that is to come home and fight for your people. We need you. All your veteran brothers and sisters need you. Otherwise the fall of America will be too great to recover from. 

Assaulted

 Today, 20 September 2020, I was assaulted with an open thrown knife into my moving vehicle at 70 miles an hour. The knife tumbled and hit me in the head above my left ear, handle side first, leaving an egg sized lump and several scratches. The perpetrator in question is currently in jail. 

I was pulling out of a gas station in Stevensville, MT, going north bound on highway 93. Less than a mile later, a large black pickup truck speeds by going at least 90 in a 70. I look in my mirror to see an F150 doing slalom with the cars on the road, and when he gets to me I give him the thumbs up, he gives me the finger, I give him the finger back. He decides that we need to fight and starts yelling at me while throwing shit out his car. I roll down my window to tell him off and he throws the knife at me. He then passes me, gets to the next light, gets out of his vehicle and comes at me like he is going to break my door window. I drive around him, while I'm on the phone with the Sheriffs department, and head on down. He follows me for a short way then decides to turn around.

The only lesson I learned from this is that I hate bullies even more and I want true justice in this world. 

So for those that have harmed me, I'm coming for you. I will not have Vengeance. I will have Justice.  

UPDATE: After a felony assault charge he was only in jail for a short period of time.

...Assemble!

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

— Kurt Vonnegut

"Good is not who you are, it is what you do."
— Kamala Khan

***

I have just finished the main campaign of the new Marvel Avengers Game on my PlayStation4. Having spent this quarantine in mostly isolation has given me a lot of time to just focus on reassembling my life, I've spent a lot of that time reconnecting with the stories of my childhood, the ones that inspired me to stand up against the evil forces that I've encountered in the world. We humans tell ourselves many stories in our day to day lives. Much of what we believe about the world, is in fact, imaginary. 

Don't worry, all of us do it. Hardly any of us know why we are here, and most of us feel it's for more than to simply suffer existence. Some of us have been told that we are separate from god, born into sin, yadda ya, etc, etc, and for those of us that have dug deep into that, we find an empty hole on the other side, and the spiritual food little more than baby food, unfit for the spirit of a mature being. Hardly anyone can make any progress in the spiritual realms because survival in the physical realms isn't governed by fairness and honor. 

If we look at the modern iteration of the Church, it's just as backwards as it was in the days of their messiah figure. The government and military that I had served danced their illusions in front of my face and I fell for them as sure as anyone else did. There are many ways to be led astray, and none of the institutions in place are doing their best to do otherwise. The press, pulpit, politicians, scientists, schools, military, corporations... all vying for our attention pulling us asunder, creating pressures we've hardly known in our history. 

I've done the best that I could. I never wanted power, because I know that power corrupts. I never wanted wealth, because I know it would have been dishonorable to profit from the experiences Death has given me. As well as, the responsibility of wealth is not mine in this lifetime. I feel like I've done my part, like many men and women have in the past, share a deep warning to a society treading the wrong path, and like many others, ignored. I always searched for people to share the responsibility of doing good. My experiences have been wholly unique, and to be honest, the trials absurd, as how do you deal with a 45 year old male stalker whose entire basis for not liking you is his "gut feeling." The police certainly didn't do anything when he was threatening me under many different pseudonyms, terrorizing my social media, followers and friends. Yet, they threw me in jail because the idiot claims he knows something about me from his stalking my online profiles. 

When I told people that we were doing, they tried to make the issue about my character, but there is a reason my callsign was Church. They got me to fall in love and they broke my heart, stealing the very thing that I wanted most in my life. There are so many devious and stupid people in the world that it strikes me as odd that all of them believe that they will get away with it. I don't believe that justice will ever come to me in this lifetime, and really don't believe that there is justice in this world other than a concept that we have to strive for and that most people throw around indiscriminately. 

If god does exist and will judge us for what we have done, I do not believe he will have mercy on their souls. They will be as described in their biblical texts as that which produces bad fruit will be thrown into the fire. I have nothing but pity for these creatures, for they are less than men. Betrayers of the Brotherhood of Mankind. For them I can only weep. 

I have given everyone that has crossed my path a chance to treat me well. I do not go looking for fights, I have only simply done what I've been instructed to do my whole life and that is to use my own judgement to do what is right. No entity in existence can take that from me. Even though I did horribly wrong by allowing myself to be manipulated into murder for the US Government, I still, in the end of all things, did what is right. It was horribly painful. 

It destroyed my heart, mind, body, and spirit. All I had to offer was the best of myself, of which I gave, and to which the worst in mankind sought to tarnish. Rat Fatnearson, my stalker, could have been one of the good guys. He was given every opportunity to stand by what is right and he just, the fuck if i know, he just did his own vigilante bullshit. Where we could have been standing up against corporations corrupting the US Military and murdering across the world, he decides to spend all his time and effort to try and discredit me. It breaks my heart. I found out recently that his wife works/ed for Raytheon, Monsanto, and other mega corps. Which is why I get to dismiss everything about him because he's a toon. 

I recently had another experience, where a "brother" of mine sent me a terrible message after I told him and his idiot sidekick to wear a fucking mask and to take the contagion seriously. I felt like I wanted to break his legs to remind him what it was like to be in pain. It was like all the pain that I have ever felt in all my experiences was welling to the surface and he was the focus of my laser wrath. 

Then I realized that he was just another manipulator and liar, like so many others. It wasn't worth my time or energy. I once tried to beg, I once tried to fight, I've done many things to try to fix relationships, and this one is just another one I have to let go. Every time I invite somebody into my circle I always have this Spongebob and Patrick best friend forever montage play through my head. It hurts when I find that I'm simply deluding myself. 

But through this process, I've remembered my deepest self and I have come into greater peace within me. While I read the stories of heroes and those that are stepping up to be those heroes, I could never be more than a mountain man just trying to save his own soul. 

If there are heroes out there. I wish you the best of luck, and may the Force be with you. 

Ponderance of the Small

I think that this time alone during the quarantine has been the best blessing I could have ever asked for. It's been like a universal "time-out" from the strange absurdity that life became for a moment. A great deal of breathing room, and reconnecting with some of the reasons that I enjoy life. A remembrance of what life truly means.

I've been working on a few things that are all seeming to run together, and then wondering if it is all even worth it. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, history will be on my side and all it should paint me as is a man who tried to remind us of some old fashioned values before we consumed the world in blood and fire. As far as I'm further concerned, I earned my rank as a Staff Sergeant in the USAF, was officially discharged as, and the only thing I'm really proud of achieving in the military. I worked my ass off after being sabotaged by "office drama". I was one of the best workers that they ever had in the drone community, and they know it. One of the reasons that I have no fear of the consequences of my actions is because I've literally done nothing but tell the truth. And it is better to face that truth now, instead of then. Otherwise our legacy as a nation will be one of histories greatest jokes.

I've heard it said that those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it, and those that read history are doomed to watch it repeat. I honestly don't know what anyone really expects my part to be. All of this Whistleblower stuff came about by almost complete accident. Like, I was the fly on the wall of the most inner actions of all military operations. I have no idea what was decided behind closed doors. I was just the atomic tip of the spear. The vision to where the spear must be poked into. The will to which once that spear is released places it to where it needs to go. And I was treated very poorly by my military leadership. What has happened is the consequence of the organization of the United States Air Force in mismanagement of it's core values. Of saying one thing then doing another, training people to value "integrity, service, and excellence", then betraying those values in themselves.

I don't look upon my time in the drone program with any sort of pride other than the amount of work I put in and how well I did it even though I hated doing it every day. I wasn't even afraid to tell people of it. I really really told people, every fucking day I was in how much I hated drones. When I first got into the program, I told the commander of the 11th TRS that I didn't sign up for a job to hunt and kill people and he called me a pussy and a coward, then belittled 2 people in front of the entire squadron for claiming to be conscience objectors. I do not and will never ever glorify anyone whatsoever who was with me in the drone program either. I was shoved into the program because of my moderately high achievements, and my miraculous ability to retreat inward because I couldn't handle the belittlement.

I could handle being yelled at for my mistakes. Basic Training was easier than Wrestling Camp. I couldn't handle belittlement of my character because of something I could hardly express in words but felt strongly of. He got me on the Oath part, I know the power of oaths and the word. My grandfather told me that the only thing a man has of worth is his word, and if you cannot fulfill it then you have no worth. I did my duty with diligence despite the office drama and slovenly politics involved. I don't know how else to express it. I don't know what anyone expected of me.

I can tell you what I expected. I expected my "brothers and sisters" to realize the dishonor that we bring upon our selves in the partaking of the actions involving the war on terror. I realize that I'm not rich or famous, and I don't intend to be. But I have direct experience and knowledge of the deep set of morals that are violated through the use of this technology and the mindset that runs behind it. All I can do is hold up the mirror of truth in front of us and have you look directly into it. I can't change your mind of how you see it or what you accept in what you see, I just have to shine a light and show you the mirror.

In the little brown book the USAF gave me called the "enlisted force structure" it says in the opening paragraph that each rank is not a discarding of the responsibilities of the previous rank but in addition to. It was the thing that saved me in the arguments I had with a few of my supervisors and those higher ranking individuals who found themselves in the program using the younger airmen to make their lives cushy office day jobs so they can spend time with their families and have their base social activities.

Let's not forget the time that I spent 4 months of flying in the year 2009, with no days off because my supervisor at the time "just felt like it." Let's not forget the time when my dog was stolen and I showed up to work in tears and I was told that if I went to go search for my dog I would be reported as AWOL and that I should just forget about it. Let's not forget the time my leave to go say goodbye to my great grandfather, on his deathbed, was take away because they "let too many people go on leave and he isn't immediate family so he's not important." Let's not forget the fact that I treated pretty much everyone kindly regardless of how they treated me. So I will never sing the praises of anyone with whom I worked with, but I will remain silent on what their characters were to me. Your embarrassment can be your own.

There is a quote from Gandalf that I really love, "Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps because I am afraid, and he gives me courage." In my reflections of how my life has gone these last 13 years, I would definitely say that it has been the smallest things that guided me through to where I've been. I've had my own misadventures, like a certain hobbit from the Shire, and maybe not as great a deed as he had for himself, one that was more real than any book could explain.

All I've done, really, is take responsibility for my own deeds, and tried to explain the struggles and changes these interactions have had on me. What I've tried to do is warn people of the consequences of our actions if we don't take that responsibility head on. This goes beyond fable, this goes beyond mythology, or theory, this is direct in-your-face experience and reflection. This isn't about ego, it's about reaping what you sow. So, no, I will not be the leader in any sort of movement or face of any sort of campaign. I have played my part in the world stage, and I really desire nothing further in it. I did everything I did to find peace in my soul, which I have, I didn't come to save the world. Who would want to save our wretched society? I will separate myself from it as much as possible so that when everything does fall apart I will not fall to karma's scythe.

In every era of history there are people that warn the world societies and the societies rarely listen. It seems that we're of the category of not listening. The smallest and least of us are treated horribly. The wealth of our country is paid with the blood of innocents. The debt of the nation is placed upon our children and our children's children's children. We've the sick and tired and hungry and have done nothing to comfort them. We dishonor the spirit of Liberty, Freedom, and War for the sake of the comfort of a few.

Look upon yourself, America, and weep for lost potential, despoiled by evil men who parade about in the Emperor's New Clothes, under the banner of religion and false prosperity. Who have led the world to war and ruin simply to pad their own pockets with wealth. Look upon what we have brought forth since our birth. I weep for you, for the lies you had me believe. You could have been the chosen one, but instead, you're retarded. I mean that in the most derogatory of senses. As in a plant that was given poison instead of nutrients and still grew, but not to it's potential. As in a child not learning discipline and self-control then given the powers of an adult. But who is to promote your growth if not yourself? With media in our faces every day, and the ability to have direct-live information fed to you, can we make that leap of faith in maturity? Can we finally be everything that we can be and more, because we have the power to simply do it? Turn my weeping from sorrow and grief to joy and exultation. Let me be a witness to your humbling and rise, instead of your crumbling and fall. Help us, oh Spirit of America the Beautiful. Save us from ourselves.

Easter Review

As we come upon the Easter Holiday, once a tradition of Mother Earth bringing forth to life again at the turn of the season, now a tradition of worshiping the killing of the Youngest Son of God meant to redeem mankind for his bloodshed and subsequent resurrection, I've given a lot of thought to the perversity that has run rampant through mankind. I spent the first 16 years of my life ignorant to the ways of man, and the next 16 years trying to deeply understand whether a person can correct those horrible mistakes made in that ignorance. Is the story supposed to bring us joy or remorse for making him pay for the sins of mankind?

I honestly find the whole story terrifying, demonic, in fact, that there is so much focus on death in the modern Christian Church. Instead of pointing fingers let me just tell the story as how I see it.

At somewhere in the world's religious history, there came about some sort of messiah or chosen one that would redeem mankind for some sort of super-sin, or unspeakable behavior that somehow taints the soul within all mankind. It greatly disturbs me to see many people focused on the things said in "prophecy" that says this guy is the messiah, rather than the teachings he espouses, and also instead of focusing on this guys teachings they await his return as some super hero straight out of the comic book movies that has entranced our society for almost a decade. As if just believing in a thing let's one behave like a fool discarding the very mind that our creation processes have given us.

This covid-19 virus has certainly come at an interesting time. Here it is that I wish to convey to anyone of any faith, religion, belief, understanding, or creed, as somebody who has had direct exposure to pretty much every layer of our society as some sort of paraded witness to the lost virtues given to us through a particular school of thought or belief, that these are mere stories and they hold a tremendous power over the hearts and souls of mankind. I can't even say that placing them into the realm of mythology hasn't given them any less power but greatly increases Man's ultimate understanding of himself. But only leads me to more questions than any solid answer.

Why is it that we have a Church that celebrates the murders of God's messengers before making them saints? Why is it they celebrate the killing of the Son of God on the day of Celebration of the Season of Birth in Nature? I'm honestly terror stricken when I think about the gross display of what I had learned early in life as demonic. In my interactions with members of my previous community, and members of the Dying God's Church, I'm in shock that they don't recognize the eating of the bread and drinking of the wine as the body and blood of "Christ" as purely necromantic as you can get. Transubstantiation is what they call it. According to all the ancient texts that I have read and all the stories that I've been told, that's demonic ritual. I don't care if it produces actual magical results, the practice of it, even just going through the motions of it, is the ritual part, and in ritual practice: demonic.

Even the reactions of the rich are completely anti-Christian as you can get and they run the western world, publicly claiming practitioners of Christ's teachings but certainly they're as ungenerous as one can get, staking the actual lives of people for the digital footprint of a dollar. Where in the Bible does Christ say that's cool? My aunt tells me that people just read Christ's teachings differently, but never have I seen such disregard for his actual words. In jail I reread them, the first time since leaving the Christian faith in 2009, and openly doing so since 2013. I remember really liking Jesus as a dude, and believing him and I could be friends growing up. Even though I turned my Way towards the Tao (which means Way), doesn't mean that I liked the man any less. He spoke of the Way, the Truth, and the Light as a means to self discovery. Even though the spice of the details was purposely put in to detract from the meat, the actual substance of the teachings are still profoundly wonderful. While I was in jail I remembered the conversations I'd have with my grandfather on what He would mean by what had been said.

Just like the Baghavad Gita sang to me in my first readings, so did these once again. I pictured my grandfather teaching me about the scriptures once again and me seeking those video games and books that echoed his platitudes of facing the demons of the world because King David walked with God, Christ showed us how to walk with God, my great-grandfather walked with God. But in my own walk I have felt that I have been further from God and I've tried to seek him again through everything. When I was younger I walked blindly into the military because of misplaced faith in the words that had been given to me.

I'm unsure who God really is, only that it's the highest supreme absolute thing that I could think of, which is All things, including us, so I'd very much like to meet the thing that did engender us and bring us into this cosmos. Why are we murdering ourselves and taking pleasure from it? Why do we not spend Easter in Grief that those wicked men murdered "God's only begotten Son" instead of just celebrating his "rebirth". I feel that we forget about those that killed the Christ all survived and probably set watch for his "prophesied" return. That's why they celebrate his death, under the guise of the "rebirth." But in that same sense we have the "death sandwich" which is Birth, death, "rebirth", much like the Tarot deck places Death, the card of transformation, into the center as the 13th in the Manor Arcana.

I find that as I study more and more of the poetic and mystical portions of the Old Faiths I find them incredibly different in degree they are from the monothiestic traditions of that one Desert Tribe. For some reason, they developed a person that was going to save them and prove to the world that they're the best, better than anyone else, and punish those that didn't believe in the supremeness of their own lord. With the stories and persecution that these people have experienced, it sounds like the mentality of an abused child wanting rescuing from their abusers. Which is understandable, I've directly seen the destruction one society can do to another through war and the searching for a way to fight back against your oppressors.

I fear they have been puppets used by the Church because it is the mentality of a slave's god. The belief that somebody is going to come and rescue you in your desperate time of need, is indeed a slave's mentality. We wonder why Christianity caught on so wonderfully in the South of the United States, it was because Christ offers sanctuary from the pain that you are experiencing beyond the physical and that the he can set you free. But on this earth you shall obey your masters and not permit a woman to teach over you, hear?

I've spent a lot of time criticizing my old religion and pursing what is actual truth, these last few years. People have criticized me for revealing what I've done and making up a wide array of my own degree of weaknesses, but I'm not sure they're even looking deeply into why I've made my own story known. It's all conjectures based on whatever their own belief systems are, and I've done my best at discarding any mythology but what attracts my own inner compass, so my job is to show you what I stand for, and reveal the disaster that can happen to one's own life by blindly following orders and being afraid of standing up for the truth until the end.

My own injury and my recovery has been an 8 year endeavor at this point and never had I made it a point in any of my talks of what has happened. I was ashamed that I had trained and studied for 4 years for something and fucked it up because I was trying way way way too hard. I had a dream of being something good for my military because the drone program was as gross an abuse of power as any in our history of the World. In essence my injury killed that person. When I was in the Hospital I had a dream of meeting the people I killed. They were standing around my bed, just waiting. I was terrified, I knew how much of a cowardly thing it was to kill people with drones. Each death I felt as if it were a fracturing of my soul. I find that those that mock me for trying to explain this have never experienced anything difficult in their life or life shattering. I would say that those in charge knew what they were doing when they made us do those things. They were not blind as we were pretending to be.

But I saw no god nor a devil, just the results of my own life's poor choices and the pitiful losses. Where was the Christ to redeem me or to chastise me? Nothing there but my awareness and dead of those I had helped cut off from this world. An eternity of shame. I had met Korean and Vietnam war vets who understood. They know what I'm saying and sometimes they ask me why I'm trying to say it out loud. It's because I don't want to be thinking about this 60 years in the future when history is trying to look back at why the Dystopic States of America did what they did in the early 2000's. I don't want to be lost in my head at a memory or a dream of what I had done. How horribly detached we actually were, and how much of a political game it was for those seeking fast track to higher rank.

It is this and these experiences that turn me away from all the religious nonsense, but allows me to see them from a perspective that is very rarely discussed. I question the displaying of the "passion of the Christ" as a mockery of his death rather than a celebration of his life. In the Ancient Faiths, before the Christ, this was a day of new love and new life. Mankind was a part of Nature's cycle as much as anything else in her repartee. In the modern faith this day is about murder and "rebirth." Seeing the apparatus from the inside and the outside has't made living any easier, in fact it just makes me feel more and more powerless.

I find a special comfort in my own self, in that when push came to shove, I would actually do the right thing and truth is the best weapon in the world. I love that everything that I've said can be held in a light and be shown as truth, because that's how I lived my whole life. I never shied away from following my own heart. No religion could chain me, or degrade what I see as purity in the Soul. I'm just very sad that our society lives under religion's name but doesn't follow any of it's doctrines. As one sergeant kept telling me when I would say that something isn't "right", he would say, "well, that's just how it works in the real Air Force."

Even the Christ says this whole thing against hypocracy and the "teachers" of the time.

A Warning Against Hypocrisy

1Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2“The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

5“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries ^a wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.

8“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. 9And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. 10Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. 11The greatest among you will be your servant. 12For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Seven Woes on the Teachers of the Law and the Pharisees

13“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. [14] ^b

15“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.

16“Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gold of the temple is bound by that oath.’ 17You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? 18You also say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gift on the altar is bound by that oath.’ 19You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? 20Therefore, anyone who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. 21And anyone who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. 22And anyone who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it.

23“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

25“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

29“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. 30And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ 31So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. 32Go ahead, then, and complete what your ancestors started!

33“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? 34Therefore I am sending you prophets and sages and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. 35And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. 36Truly I tell you, all this will come on this generation.

37“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. 38Look, your house is left to you desolate. 39For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’  




Now hold that up to what is happening in the world today and ask yourself, What would Jesus Do?

Pray the end of this horrible monstrosity of whatever has a hold on our society and the spirit of mankind. Especially in this crisis we cannot have the hypocrites and the liars run our world. They will be the end of us all.

World of Warcraft Review no spoilers

Because I've got a ton of free time on my hands at the moment, I decided to start playing World of Warcraft again. I played it during my military service, with quite a few of my co-workers, and it was a way for many of us to play in war while dealing with the reality of what we were doing in our type of warfare. It was an escape for most.

With the quarantine up and ready, I decided to play through the storylines on both sides of the battle through the last 3 expansions. Warlords of Draenor, Legion, and the Battle for Azeroth. I missed out on Cataclysm and Mists of Pandaria due to my previous account being hacked at the end of my active duty service and me sacrificing it because it gave me an excuse to just focus on my training for SERE. By the time I left active duty, I was sick of most everything electronic, seeing the web of information everywhere I walked.

But now I'm back, and I decided to walk the roads my old self had once walked. I grew up playing the original WarCraft, along with my favorite WarCraft 2: beyond the dark portal. With the failed release of WarCraft 3, completely below any decent standard of promise/delivery, I got to thinking of "what would I have done had I been the one making the decisions?" Since getting my desktop back after having it in storage since 2011, I built it in 2010 to play Skyrim at max setttings, I put Unity's free program on it to give it a go and see what it is that I would create, given the chance. The WarCraft story is the first to be broken apart and digested.  Since WarCraft is a mishmash of so many other science fiction/fantasy/mythologies, I'll review it as a player and a mythology and history scholar.

While I will get into what World of WarCraft has done wrong, mainly not giving every expansion it's own set of parameters and boundaries that interact with another as a part of evolution instead of taking away something that we already have and giving it to us in a different skin. Though I have been impressed with the streamlining and qualities of life, there is so much content to be explored and chances for growth that it would be a failure of Blizzard as a company to not utilize all the knowledge at its disposal to create a playable "museum of blizzard" kind of Game for the WarCraft series.

To reference the failure of the WarCraft 3 Remake, it was barely an upgrade in character models. One of the laziest money grabs that I had ever seen by a once respected company. I say that not to belittle them but to recognize that a good product is the sign of a good company. A poor product is the sign of a greedy and lazy company. We're only here for a small amount of time and there is no reason for us to not put our effort into all that we create on this earth. I had really hoped for an updated map creator, much like the game for ps4 Dreams. The way that the stories went in my head is so different than the ones that played out it would be like creating my own "What IF?" When I had made that decision I got arrested and spent 31 days in the county jail. Much of these ideas are what I was thinking about pre-arrest, and what I've been dwelling on since the quarantine began.

Warlords of Draenor:

Okay, I played through Warlords as a Worgen Guardian Druid. I loved the idea of the classes that can play all roles, and since I had played a Blood Elf Paladin in the Burning Crusade and Wrath of the Lich King, I decided to play one from either goblin or worgen as I missed their introduction and I really don't like the pandaren, so it turned me off to Monk. Since neither goblins or worgen can be monks I chose the druid.

There are two things that I learned from this, that I didn't play any of the Alliance quests in either Burning Crusade nor in Wrath, and the ability to shape change while falling is amazing. In my playtime I got to finally make a character that I got to look however I wanted in this world. I didn't level up this character from level 1, as I hated low leveling in Classic-Wrath, and I wanted to get straight into the story. I did also remake a Blood Elf Paladin but I only got him to 60 before I decided that I didn't want to level up anymore and I wasn't really into remaking a toon that I lost. Getting to Draenor was like going through the portal again in the WarCraft 2 expansion, Beyond the Dark Portal. Not seeing it in it's science-fantasy broken world, but seeing it fresh and green and full of primitive life. I felt it was a hearken to Conan and the savage fantasy worlds. For the most part I enjoyed it. The Garrison felt only halfway done. I felt that they could have expanded the alt system by allowing you to share the Garrison on each realm, as they had made the upkeep super tedious for each character. They could have also done missions as standard WarCraft RTS story missions where you send a team into a map for certain accomplishments. The current way is just sending your recruits on a percent chance auto complete missions.

I would keep that option, but the reward is only the standard. Taking personal control of the missions would allow one to find extras as well as making those recruited characters more than simple paper dolls.  It would also break the monotony of the game type, adding more depth rather than taking away anything. Sea missions would have been amazingly fun!

I do very much dislike the Talent system. The 3 pillars are not organized in any way shape or form. There is no, attack, defense, or support options, they're just things that were previously given in the past and then placed into a strange array of choices. Even the weapons that they added in Legion, only gave us back things that we already had in the guise of "weapon progression" It was not fun to grind out and it was not a fun part of the game. it could have been done automatically for how well it was implemented.

I did enjoy the story in both Warlords and Legion, though I only played it on my Druid, and when I unlocked the Void Elf race, I made a hunter because I played a Survival Hunter in Classic and I had always wanted a melee hunter character. I didn't play my Druid much anymore in Battle. I got halfway through the story before I gave up and went through it on my Blood Elf Paladin, then to get the other side of the story I completed the Battle story I with my Void Elf Hunter. I leveled up through player versus player (PvP), and did the Mists of Pandaria story on my hunter, which, after completing I'm really sorry that I missed that Expansion. It is very beautiful.

I did not enjoy the Battle story. It seemed too rushed and holds very little depth. I have enjoyed the PvP. While I was unlocking the Vulpera, a small fox like race, I was thinking of creating a monk for the first time. While I was grinding out the reputation I made an Undead monk and decided to go through the Forsaken storyline for the first time. I realized how much I missed out. In WarCraft 3, they were humans that had been unwillingly raised into the state of undeath. Not really my favorite story, but they had broken free to decide their own fate. I had never played one and they finally got the golden 3 of a class. I went for it and I really regret not making one before. It reminded me of why I like this game. I had preconceived notions of all the other classes. Not knowing what to expect with this class made me appreciate the mechanics a lot more, I believe.

So for the rest of the game I decided to go back and complete everything I missed on my monk, The Draenor and Legion horde story, first. After putting time into those with my Druid, doing it again on my monk was not something that i wanted to do since it was the same thing. In Legion, I got my druid the "hidden weapon" skins, I have no interest in doing that with my monk, as I don' t like the skins for the WindWalker specialization. I have no interest in dungeons or anything else in Battle, except for the PvP, and that is extremely fun. I do not like the gear level making the difference between a win and a loss, and it is easier to gain gear levels in the Player versus Environment side of the game.

 Though I might be under geared, I think I got the hang of it. The chat environment is pretty bad in World of Warcraft, toxic and demeaning, though I do my best to be encouraging during a match. Most people don't dedicate time to this stuff and have quite a lot of other things to do. I've had a history with the game so I could dive right in and just putz around without a care to complete anything or race to have something done. I don't have an attachment to anything, just a chance to explore and check out the evolution of the game.

I've gone through some of the old stories in some zones to make connections with some of the stuff going on in Battle/Legion/Warlords, and I'm not sure I would have continued in the direction that they went. Warlords was huge and streamlined, but Legion and Battle seemed to be rushed. And not in a "you played to fast" rush through, but everything is go go go go go go, emergency, emergency, emergency and you're the only person that can stop it. Here is where I would have made the case for alternate toons affecting the same world as your main character. There is so much to do that one character cannot handle it all, and if we're going to be gaining in power levels to destroy old gods, then we're going to run into the Raymond Feist dilemma of once you've defeated everything the only one left to defeat is Chaos itself.

Not to rag on the RiftWar Saga, I just would like a different direction for the World of WarCraft. Even if we keep the idea that there is one main hero, the ability to do other things and affect the same state of the world with other toons allows for more interaction with the world. I thought that is what world quests were supposed to simulate, but having to redo parts of the game on other characters can be too much for those not dedicated to the game. It would allow me to enjoy more of the story instead of the same over and over again.

My only complaints are the repetative nature of the games leveling mechanics/story and the gear level monstrosity that once you fall behind in the game you can never truly catch up, and in PvP that's an ender for anyone new wanting to enjoy the game and try to get better at it, until, like the highlander, there will only be one. 

The Roman Tick

“The most worthless of mankind are not afraid to condemn in others the same disorders which they allow in themselves; and can readily discover some nice difference in age, character, or station, to justify the partial distinction.”
― Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

***

ro·man·tic
/rōˈman(t)ik/

2.  of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality


***

I find as I read more and more of history and religion, most notably the Abrahamic religions, I find it incredibly disturbing how every little road that describes the downfall of mankind leads me back to Rome. I've been researching my ancestry and following a path of spirituality that has been no less than incredible. I've encountered the worst of mankind in various forms, have turned away from the constructions that I grew up with, and have made leaps and strides towards the ultimate goal of self realization in one lifetime. I've been gratefully and wonderfully blessed, though that doesn't mean that I've gone through the briars unscathed, it simply means that I've made it through the other side.

When I was younger, I had the childish ideal that everyone had the same opportunities as I did, the same deep need to search for life's great treasures. But as I grew older I slowly, very very slowly, came to realize that most people don't like to dig in the muck of the human soul to discover the treasures that lay within. The common man would rather themselves be comfortable, though I've never seen anyone truly comfortable that I would call common. I would say that I was very lucky that I was placed into the family that I had been, not for the religiocity that governs them, but underneath all of that, the place and time and seed that did engender me and give me birth allowed me to endure the wickedness of men without giving into them.

My mother would always tell me that god would only give us that which he created us to carry, never more. I have to give props to the intelligence behind the universe, because he gets the precise amount every time, right to what we believe our limits to be, then shows us how we can surpass them because we are his children. All of us.

In the idealized world of our society, we have this thing called the American Dream. The childish notion that getting a family, a home, and a white picket fence will satisfy all our inner and outer needs. I used to describe myself as "romantic" when searching for a partner, mostly because of the fantasy of having the perfect partner created for me like Eve was for Adam. It was what I was told growing up, and while that ideal saved me from diving into relationships and making some terrible terrible mistakes with women of questionable purity, when I finally gave up on that notion and tried to build my own El Dorado one brick at a time I never came across a person who was willing to start again, or discard notions of the past to try to build something worthwhile. That is why I think that much of the mindset of our day and age is the Roman Tick, blood sucking and soul sucking that leaves people empty of life and vitality.

The Roman Tick has devastated our society, our world. It is the monster that has no real name or form, as the Romans have stolen every spiritual confluence and declared it to be their own. Their attempt to be the spiritual center of mankind has failed, grotesquely, and their destroying of the link between science and spirituality a thing that deserves the greatest of punishments. 

The Christ says this in his teachings, "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Since I am a believer that the spirit in man discards the body for a new one at the time of each birth (not in the womb as false pro-lifers would proclaim), and I also understand that the tongue is sharper than any sword and can cut the spirit of man in twain, I am going to do my best to destroy the souls of those that have negatively affected this world and let their bodies and minds suffer in this realm until the time of their death. Since that is what most people fear, is death, is it not? Even though it happens to all creatures in this universe, an unequivocal law of nature.

What it seems that some people don't understand is that there are little deaths, deaths of thoughts and beliefs and feelings, that come before the big death. Where I am being attacked today is that some think that I'm trying to spread the big death to people. I don't care about that. No one can escape it and the longer that those that fear the inevitable live the greater that fear becomes. I will kill and exterminate the soul of bigotry, hatred, greed, and all those other nasty little demons, whether I have to use religious language, war language, philosophical or scientific language, I will get my point across and I will challenge all those things that drag a man's soul to the depths of his own hell.

If it leaves somebody an empty shell so be it. The people that spread those lies and deceits have done worse to their fellow man, destroying families, taking away children, ruining reputations, health and wellness. The law of Karma states that so ye reap so ye sow, and the reapers are here. They keep appearing in our mythologies, in our dreams and thoughts. The current Virus pandemic is Pestilence, Nature's reaper. We were unprepared for it, even though we had seen unaccounted for wealth and "prosperity" in our time, those that held that wealth and proclaimed that prosperity did so not for the benefit of man, but for selfish gains. We all are paying the consequences for it.

I'm not going to proclaim myself anything other than what I am. I am not a prophet, I only repeat what past prophets have said, and the prophets are those that study history and nature to warn us of upcoming trials and tribulations. Nothing that I could say would be more accurate than the words that we've already been given. I am a warrior and a scholar, plain and simple. I have picked up the mantle of my Great-Grandfather, the mantle of mentoring and ministering to the spirits of those individuals who seek. I will not proselytize, I will not be the figure head of anything.

I will be that voice crying out in the wilderness alone, and I will fight this Roman Tick, alone. Every man must go into the darkness to see his own light or be forever forsaken by it. The play of light and darkness are ours, our birthright as living and conscious beings in this world. Do not give in to romanticism or the unchallenged beliefs in others. Never have I ever said to never question me. Never have I said that what I say is absolute truth, but the truth of my experiences is plain to see in the light of day.

I will not hide from the hatred of small beings who pretend to be men. To do so would make me an unqualified and inexcusable traitor to myself, and that self is what I have spent so much time to find under all the trials and tribulations in this life. So let me light myself on fire and let the world watch me burn within the flames of self knowledge. I fear no man nor anything man-made, for it will all fall with Time, the great destroyer of all things. It is time the Roman Tick be eliminated and we be free from the plague it has spread in the spirit of man.

Let Rome fall into dust, and those that propagated her iniquity fall with her.