To Whom It May Concern,
I hope this message finds you well. For myself, things have pretty much gotten as bad as they could be. I'm still being stalked by certain people and they have actively ruined my relationships. Since I do not have any support, I have had to fight these battles alone, and while I have mostly succeeded, I have failed in the most important way: My own personal relationships have fallen apart.
I'm mostly at fault, being that had I not put myself into certain positions I would not have had to place my trust in people that did not have my best interests in mind. Continuously I've given myself to others who have robbed me of my heart and taken advantage of my kindness. Unfortunately, I've held it in so long, that when my ex girlfriend of 3 years started exhibiting all the signs of being unfaithful to me all my inner demons took it as an opportunity to torment me. She says that she was faithful, but faithfulness means trust and she broke my trust pretty severely and then deflected accountability for her actions until I had to force her to apologize. She went behind my back and decided for me what was going to happen without even considering my feelings.
Needless to say I made a complete mess of things, and she now hates me from the arms of another man.
It's my own fault, really. I had hoped that her and I could start a family and find a place to live in peace while the world burned down. I relied on her support as much as I gave her and she couldn't even give me the respect to be there for me when I actually needed her. I was so used to doing things alone, that when I had decided to accept support it was taken from me the moment I leaned on it.
It's happened enough times that I can only find myself as the lowest common denominator. I blame social media, of things outside myself, and the lack of care people have for anything outside of their ego. In turn, I decided to burn most every bridge that I can. I'm worn out, burnt out, sick. I have stress induced cardiomyopathy, literally a broken heart. Though my heart is physically strong, the stress of whistleblowing and relationships have been too much my heart is failing. A year ago, I was holding on because love was easing me out of it, but then my ex was nearly hurt by somebody trying to hurt me, and I gave into fear, and fear led to my own destruction.
I'm not sure how much life I have left. Whenever people threaten me and I make noise, the trolls and stalkers go back into the deep shadows, and I eek by every day by trying to live simply. The stress of it all just caught up to me and I'm not strong enough to endure without support, and since I don't have support and am now completely alone in the first time in my life (no more dog), either the broken heart or the loneliness is going to kill me and I'm not sure that I don't deserve it even after I gave it my best.
If I hurt you in this life, if you think that I wronged you, I'm sorry. If I had the opportunity and I knew what I did I would have fixed it. My ignorance doesn't excuse anything. If you wronged me, I forgive you but I will not forget. You may live a blessed life outside of mine.
I want this Chapter of my life to end.
The Epilogue isn't a happy ending, unfortunately, and I wonder if that is only in fairy tales.
On my marker let it read: He died alone, but he did his duty and was content.
I pray that in the world mercy and justice prevail.
Cheers,
Brandon W. Bryant
Staff Sergeant, USAF JSOC
200th Dragon Of the 3rd SOS
2015 Whistleblower of the Year
Founder of Project Red Hand (inactive)
Last of his line.
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