Dear JSOC

Dear JSOC,

I want to thank you for what you have taught me and for allowing me to bring to light the experiences I had in the dark of a trailer watching the intricate play of War in front of my eyes. Through your mission I was able to fulfill a vow that I had never told anyone about, that after my stint in the 15th Recon Squadron (RS), I would never shoot anyone ever again. But here is what I have learned and what I want to share with you about a warrior's role in the greater world, and what it will mean for your own survival. I'm sure you've been briefed upon who I am, and you probably know more about me that I do. So I hope you take this very seriously.

Sometimes I feel lucky for having gone your direction. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had the chance to dedicate myself to the concept of duty before self, then seriously explore what the duty was to myself to mend my own soul. I spent a long time contemplating much of who I am today under the wings of the Dragon. One particular man who was part of OP Anaconda gave me his side of the story and a particular piece of advice that I've held close to my heart ever since. He said, "It doesn't matter what awards or decorations that you get, always do what you know is right because you're a master of your craft, not because somebody told you to do it." Maybe because you know me you know how many times I've violated it against myself and that I've not turned that violence against anyone other than myself. After the incident with the child I hated myself more than I hated anything else in existence.

I tried to make shit right with everyone but it kept backfiring. I believe I was cursed for what I had done. Forever cursed. You should understand the desperation that I've experienced; No one would grieve with me and the incident was forgotten as if nothing happened. I couldn't talk about it on the phone, though you probably have records of those conversations, since everyone one of us was monitored.  I feel like most of them were ignorant shills, living office drama that played out while death danced upon infrared screens.

You inherited a mess for sure. But now it is time to reassess what it is that is happening right now.

I'm sure some of your men have had near death experiences and that you've probably got a division that works more shit beyond what I could comprehend; there is a reason why there is extensive philosophical and spiritual knowledge to being true warriors. If nothing else, you've explored why there are so many veteran suicides many due to the invisible wounds that have become the ghosts of the veteran community.

What I hope is that you I don't continue the illusion of war simply because the money is good. The United States Joint Special Operations Command should not be a mercenary group for the highest bidder. I feel like a guy who was simply given the patch to fill an empty slot shouldn't have to be the one to point this out. Maybe I'm like the kid from the Emperor's New Clothes. I don't know when to shut my mouth.

But seriously, how is it that this has gotten out of hand? How is it that you have allowed the most incompetent of incompetent group of politicians to disgrace your honor by dragging it through unjust and evil wars? How is it that you take the noblest of all beasts and have him do the dirtiest and dishonorable job under the banner of the most supreme of nature's creations?

How is it that your supposed to protect the Republic while causing mayhem across the globe at the behest of the Central Intelligence Agency? When we create our own enemies to fight, there is no end to it. There needs to be an end to it. And maybe it's because I fucking hate the 17th RS and the people I knew within it. I also feel like my Legacy is attached to yours, and if I am to lift myself up I must lift up my whole history. I must share the lessons that I have learned so that you do not send more young men and women over the edge without the ability to come back from it. And I must let go of my hatred of my experiences to move forward. The only way I can think of is to learn from it. Not looking at the negative or positive, separating good or evil, but as a whole chapter with character resolution.

Behind the veil which hides the unseen, man will confront the final destiny of his soul. The ancients say that those of us that have participated in the destruction of life deserve no reward in an afterlife. I hate sounding like a broken record or a spiritual lunatic, but the things that I have seen and experienced have been very real. How I have survived is a miracle in itself, and if we are to stop the madness that the United States has gotten itself into it must start with the tip of the spear. It must withdraw and refuse to be used for unrighteous warfare. Heroes and legends come from men and women who turn against the darkness, not from those who were puppets used for illicit gains. Those are spoken about by the common folk in horror and disgust.

You and those under your command must change the way that you operate or face oblivion when finally crossing the veil. And you will also continue to lose men and women to themselves every time they go home and have to live with what they've done. It is a great honor to fight against a deserving enemy, it is a great tragedy that our warriors despair enough to murder themselves because of their mistreatment.

My great grandfather ministered to a great many people, but I am not sure he ever did for the warrior class. I feel like I keep turning back to his teachings over and over again. They were rarely about Christ, when he talked to me at least. They were about love, and not just any love but the Great Love that the Creator has for all of his creations. After my guided shamanic experiences, I understand the truth of it. I've felt it, overflowed with it. After the burning of my self hate it was a quenching draught of peace. It has only been my attachment to people, events, and things that I have sense realized disturb it. The pain never went away, however. I'm not sure it ever will.

I'm unsure if I could ever properly describe soul pain. We all experience it in a manner.  Mine is from murder. It's really the only thing that I feel I've done that is unforgivable. It wounded my spirit severely. To the point where the injury I sustained I believed it was Karma punishment for what I had done, not realizing that it was done on purpose to prevent me from speaking out about my experiences. All I could think of these last 7 years has been the pain and how to end it. The desperation drove me over the edge of sanity and through multiple experiences of soul death. I think it was my grandfather's teachings on that soul that has made me even aware of what I understand I've experienced.

There is so much more to uncover, and I couldn't even imagine what the men who have been on the ground have to come back from. But I think I have the knowledge to bring them back. And it is all thanks to you. I got to bear witness. If you listen, maybe you won't be part of the collapse of the USA but of the rebuilding of her foundation as a true beacon of light for mankind. It starts with those with blood on their hands. The warrior spirit must be purified, it starts with us.

Respectfully,

Staff Sergeant Brandon W. Bryant
200th Dragon of the 3rd Special Operations Squadron

Upon the Winds

“Dream delivers us to dream, and there is no end to illusion. Life is like a train of moods like a string of beads, and, as we pass through them, they prove to be many-colored lenses which paint the world their own hue. . . . ”

-Ralph Waldo Emmerson


***

The twenty first chapter of the Tao te Ching saith thus, "For the countenance of great virtue, only the Way is to be followed. As a thing, the Way is abstract and elusive: elusive and abstract, there are images in it; abstract and elusive, there is something there. Recondite, hidden, it has vitality therein: that vitality is very real; it has information therein. From ancient times to now, its name is the undeparting; thereby are seen all beginnings. How do I know all beginnings are so? By this."

All lore and all mythology want to point to a beginning, a place where we can say it all started, so we can prepare ourselves for the inevitable ending that is on its way. Science and philosophy delve into the same waters and pretend that they know better when all they are is another language to examine the anatomy of the universe. It's all the same, it is only dogma and ignorance that say otherwise.

It has been 13 years since I first murdered for the United States Air Force Drone Wing of the Military Industrial Complex. One year for each targeted death that I hold upon my soul. I had once thought that the military was a means to an end in escaping the financial debt that plagues the common man and students of our day and age. Little did I realize that the experience, as well as beyond, would exact a price that I had to pay. It would strip my soul of everything that I had once held dear, belief in mankind, god, the universe, and myself, leaving me an empty shell of my former ideologies, wishing for an ending that would never come.

Originally I was going to join the military to pay for my education to become a teacher, doing my duty for the greater good of "god and country." It seemed like such a simple plan. I only sought another avenue to do what my family has been doing for generations: teaching and giving wisdom to each person under our tutelage, ministering to the needs of the people.

However, that is not what I have found. Instead I find that the United States Government is a parasite, the wealthy stealing their riches from the workers, while the military industrial complex survives not by honor and duty but on the blood of it's own children which are sacrificed to the almighty dollar under the illusion of fighting an enemy that we have no plans on conquering. Religion? I find that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are the true Satanic religions for they divide and separate man from nature. They have been used to control the idiotic masses so effectively that man has turned against itself as the body would against a typically vicious cancer.

This is probably the nicest way to say all of this. I have looked the parasite in the eye, traveled through the belly of the beast, fought hard for my own sanctity of heart, mind, body and soul. I tried to escape it, the bearing of witness, the pain and horror.

A man cannot be truly a man until he faces the pain and the horror.

I have traveled all over the world, worked with shamans and mystics, sages and psychologists, in order to escape or destroy it. Neither have been possible. What I have learned through mediation is that awareness of it all is only half of it. The other half is being able to hold it all without crumbling under the weight or the pain. This combination leads to true power.

See, my country made me murder. Not only that, they made me murder a child and tried to brush it off as a dog. Upon that very fact alone do I have the authority and power to bring justice to those that feed as vampires upon human suffering. Upon that very fact alone do I have the right to destroy the very foundations which created this very sick society we live in. Then they stole my son and set me up with a fake lover. Upon that I will destroy the world and everyone in it.

Those that stood by while it happened. That took my story from me and profited off of my own personal misery will be ground under my heel. Those that proclaimed me as their ally then betrayed my trust, knifing me in the back while I tried to find rest and recovery... I will devour their souls. The power is available to me. When I am done the whole world will tremble before me. This isn't a joke. I will not wage war or bring violence to anyone. It is not against flesh and blood we fight but against the principalities and powers which govern this world, and it is the power within me that is infinitely more powerful than that which is in the world.

It just took a lot of pain and suffering to find it.

I discovered that magic and the occult are real. Hell, the beings that are in positions of power have tried to hide that fact from us by placing it in the realm of fantasy and in religious texts that have been put together to make no sense to the common man who sees no more than what lay on the surface; The Bible.

I tried to disbelieve. Cursed the very gods themselves in fury and despondency. They answered. Oh did they answer.

Since January of this year I have given myself totally to the idea of perfecting the self and tapping into that internal power that is spoken of in stories and myths. I had no where else to turn. My family failed me, my friends failed me, my government, my military, everything that is external to myself have failed me when I needed them to support me in my struggles. When I turned inward, I didn't think that I could experience more pain. I was a fool.

The things that I have seen and experienced are of the Tao. In order for a great awakening to happen one must experience great pain. We love our enemies not because we want them to be like us. We love them because they teach us what is worthy to stand against and they give us a solid thing that we can fight against. If I've learned anything in this lifetime is that humanity as a whole is my enemy, and I will see them destroyed fully and in it's entirety. In this lifetime or the next, it matters not. In time it will be seen.

All I had wanted was a family and a community where I was loved and a useful part of. Everything that I had dreamt of was stolen from me, by many greedy individuals who never deigned to do anything other than seek a selfish profit from it all. But like I said earlier, there is a price for everything. If you're reading this you have to know it. You will pay. Everything dies. In that place that is between worlds I will be waiting and you will not be born again. So saith I.

I will dive into the deepest  depths of my soul and bring forth the power that is most ancient, yet permeates everything. I will sacrifice my whole being to the Supreme, die while still living, merge with the Eternal, and lay down the justice of the One in All. I am not a prophet. I am not the messiah. I am a man who has been wronged beyond anything I could have ever conceived and I will have justice. Vengeance I will leave to God.

I will not raise a weapon against my enemy, unless it is in self defense. I will not take to the streets and lead. I will stand alone against all the forces arrayed against me and I will be victorious, in this life and the next.

If you believe me to be insane or find this to be a bunch of superstition, then you have never felt the pain that I have felt due to the madness of the world, and you have never looked deeper into the nature of the self and the universe than what you've been led to believe. That is fine. Everything will be seen for what it is.

Here is a lesson for you: my pain is my power. Desperation has led me further than I had once thought possible. Faith led me through the fire without being burnt, my own authority and truth have given me the strength where I thought I had none. You have all born witness to it. I need not speak of it further.

Fear me. Fear what I have had to become in order to set the balance right. You have only this life to live. Use it well, you will get no other.