Dear JSOC

Dear JSOC,

I want to thank you for what you have taught me and for allowing me to bring to light the experiences I had in the dark of a trailer watching the intricate play of War in front of my eyes. Through your mission I was able to fulfill a vow that I had never told anyone about, that after my stint in the 15th Recon Squadron (RS), I would never shoot anyone ever again. But here is what I have learned and what I want to share with you about a warrior's role in the greater world, and what it will mean for your own survival. I'm sure you've been briefed upon who I am, and you probably know more about me that I do. So I hope you take this very seriously.

Sometimes I feel lucky for having gone your direction. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had the chance to dedicate myself to the concept of duty before self, then seriously explore what the duty was to myself to mend my own soul. I spent a long time contemplating much of who I am today under the wings of the Dragon. One particular man who was part of OP Anaconda gave me his side of the story and a particular piece of advice that I've held close to my heart ever since. He said, "It doesn't matter what awards or decorations that you get, always do what you know is right because you're a master of your craft, not because somebody told you to do it." Maybe because you know me you know how many times I've violated it against myself and that I've not turned that violence against anyone other than myself. After the incident with the child I hated myself more than I hated anything else in existence.

I tried to make shit right with everyone but it kept backfiring. I believe I was cursed for what I had done. Forever cursed. You should understand the desperation that I've experienced; No one would grieve with me and the incident was forgotten as if nothing happened. I couldn't talk about it on the phone, though you probably have records of those conversations, since everyone one of us was monitored.  I feel like most of them were ignorant shills, living office drama that played out while death danced upon infrared screens.

You inherited a mess for sure. But now it is time to reassess what it is that is happening right now.

I'm sure some of your men have had near death experiences and that you've probably got a division that works more shit beyond what I could comprehend; there is a reason why there is extensive philosophical and spiritual knowledge to being true warriors. If nothing else, you've explored why there are so many veteran suicides many due to the invisible wounds that have become the ghosts of the veteran community.

What I hope is that you I don't continue the illusion of war simply because the money is good. The United States Joint Special Operations Command should not be a mercenary group for the highest bidder. I feel like a guy who was simply given the patch to fill an empty slot shouldn't have to be the one to point this out. Maybe I'm like the kid from the Emperor's New Clothes. I don't know when to shut my mouth.

But seriously, how is it that this has gotten out of hand? How is it that you have allowed the most incompetent of incompetent group of politicians to disgrace your honor by dragging it through unjust and evil wars? How is it that you take the noblest of all beasts and have him do the dirtiest and dishonorable job under the banner of the most supreme of nature's creations?

How is it that your supposed to protect the Republic while causing mayhem across the globe at the behest of the Central Intelligence Agency? When we create our own enemies to fight, there is no end to it. There needs to be an end to it. And maybe it's because I fucking hate the 17th RS and the people I knew within it. I also feel like my Legacy is attached to yours, and if I am to lift myself up I must lift up my whole history. I must share the lessons that I have learned so that you do not send more young men and women over the edge without the ability to come back from it. And I must let go of my hatred of my experiences to move forward. The only way I can think of is to learn from it. Not looking at the negative or positive, separating good or evil, but as a whole chapter with character resolution.

Behind the veil which hides the unseen, man will confront the final destiny of his soul. The ancients say that those of us that have participated in the destruction of life deserve no reward in an afterlife. I hate sounding like a broken record or a spiritual lunatic, but the things that I have seen and experienced have been very real. How I have survived is a miracle in itself, and if we are to stop the madness that the United States has gotten itself into it must start with the tip of the spear. It must withdraw and refuse to be used for unrighteous warfare. Heroes and legends come from men and women who turn against the darkness, not from those who were puppets used for illicit gains. Those are spoken about by the common folk in horror and disgust.

You and those under your command must change the way that you operate or face oblivion when finally crossing the veil. And you will also continue to lose men and women to themselves every time they go home and have to live with what they've done. It is a great honor to fight against a deserving enemy, it is a great tragedy that our warriors despair enough to murder themselves because of their mistreatment.

My great grandfather ministered to a great many people, but I am not sure he ever did for the warrior class. I feel like I keep turning back to his teachings over and over again. They were rarely about Christ, when he talked to me at least. They were about love, and not just any love but the Great Love that the Creator has for all of his creations. After my guided shamanic experiences, I understand the truth of it. I've felt it, overflowed with it. After the burning of my self hate it was a quenching draught of peace. It has only been my attachment to people, events, and things that I have sense realized disturb it. The pain never went away, however. I'm not sure it ever will.

I'm unsure if I could ever properly describe soul pain. We all experience it in a manner.  Mine is from murder. It's really the only thing that I feel I've done that is unforgivable. It wounded my spirit severely. To the point where the injury I sustained I believed it was Karma punishment for what I had done, not realizing that it was done on purpose to prevent me from speaking out about my experiences. All I could think of these last 7 years has been the pain and how to end it. The desperation drove me over the edge of sanity and through multiple experiences of soul death. I think it was my grandfather's teachings on that soul that has made me even aware of what I understand I've experienced.

There is so much more to uncover, and I couldn't even imagine what the men who have been on the ground have to come back from. But I think I have the knowledge to bring them back. And it is all thanks to you. I got to bear witness. If you listen, maybe you won't be part of the collapse of the USA but of the rebuilding of her foundation as a true beacon of light for mankind. It starts with those with blood on their hands. The warrior spirit must be purified, it starts with us.

Respectfully,

Staff Sergeant Brandon W. Bryant
200th Dragon of the 3rd Special Operations Squadron