16 September 2019

Upon the Winds

“Dream delivers us to dream, and there is no end to illusion. Life is like a train of moods like a string of beads, and, as we pass through them, they prove to be many-colored lenses which paint the world their own hue. . . . ”

-Ralph Waldo Emmerson


***

The twenty first chapter of the Tao te Ching saith thus, "For the countenance of great virtue, only the Way is to be followed. As a thing, the Way is abstract and elusive: elusive and abstract, there are images in it; abstract and elusive, there is something there. Recondite, hidden, it has vitality therein: that vitality is very real; it has information therein. From ancient times to now, its name is the undeparting; thereby are seen all beginnings. How do I know all beginnings are so? By this."

All lore and all mythology want to point to a beginning, a place where we can say it all started, so we can prepare ourselves for the inevitable ending that is on its way. Science and philosophy delve into the same waters and pretend that they know better when all they are is another language to examine the anatomy of the universe. It's all the same, it is only dogma and ignorance that say otherwise.

It has been 13 years since I first murdered for the United States Air Force Drone Wing of the Military Industrial Complex. One year for each targeted death that I hold upon my soul. I had once thought that the military was a means to an end in escaping the financial debt that plagues the common man and students of our day and age. Little did I realize that the experience, as well as beyond, would exact a price that I had to pay. It would strip my soul of everything that I had once held dear, belief in mankind, god, the universe, and myself, leaving me an empty shell of my former ideologies, wishing for an ending that would never come.

Originally I was going to join the military to pay for my education to become a teacher, doing my duty for the greater good of "god and country." It seemed like such a simple plan. I only sought another avenue to do what my family has been doing for generations: teaching and giving wisdom to each person under our tutelage, ministering to the needs of the people.

However, that is not what I have found. Instead I find that the United States Government is a parasite, the wealthy stealing their riches from the workers, while the military industrial complex survives not by honor and duty but on the blood of it's own children which are sacrificed to the almighty dollar under the illusion of fighting an enemy that we have no plans on conquering. Religion? I find that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are the true Satanic religions for they divide and separate man from nature. They have been used to control the idiotic masses so effectively that man has turned against itself as the body would against a typically vicious cancer.

This is probably the nicest way to say all of this. I have looked the parasite in the eye, traveled through the belly of the beast, fought hard for my own sanctity of heart, mind, body and soul. I tried to escape it, the bearing of witness, the pain and horror.

A man cannot be truly a man until he faces the pain and the horror.

I have traveled all over the world, worked with shamans and mystics, sages and psychologists, in order to escape or destroy it. Neither have been possible. What I have learned through mediation is that awareness of it all is only half of it. The other half is being able to hold it all without crumbling under the weight or the pain. This combination leads to true power.

See, my country made me murder. Not only that, they made me murder a child and tried to brush it off as a dog. Upon that very fact alone do I have the authority and power to bring justice to those that feed as vampires upon human suffering. Upon that very fact alone do I have the right to destroy the very foundations which created this very sick society we live in. Then they stole my son and set me up with a fake lover. Upon that I will destroy the world and everyone in it.

Those that stood by while it happened. That took my story from me and profited off of my own personal misery will be ground under my heel. Those that proclaimed me as their ally then betrayed my trust, knifing me in the back while I tried to find rest and recovery... I will devour their souls. The power is available to me. When I am done the whole world will tremble before me. This isn't a joke. I will not wage war or bring violence to anyone. It is not against flesh and blood we fight but against the principalities and powers which govern this world, and it is the power within me that is infinitely more powerful than that which is in the world.

It just took a lot of pain and suffering to find it.

I discovered that magic and the occult are real. Hell, the beings that are in positions of power have tried to hide that fact from us by placing it in the realm of fantasy and in religious texts that have been put together to make no sense to the common man who sees no more than what lay on the surface; The Bible.

I tried to disbelieve. Cursed the very gods themselves in fury and despondency. They answered. Oh did they answer.

Since January of this year I have given myself totally to the idea of perfecting the self and tapping into that internal power that is spoken of in stories and myths. I had no where else to turn. My family failed me, my friends failed me, my government, my military, everything that is external to myself have failed me when I needed them to support me in my struggles. When I turned inward, I didn't think that I could experience more pain. I was a fool.

The things that I have seen and experienced are of the Tao. In order for a great awakening to happen one must experience great pain. We love our enemies not because we want them to be like us. We love them because they teach us what is worthy to stand against and they give us a solid thing that we can fight against. If I've learned anything in this lifetime is that humanity as a whole is my enemy, and I will see them destroyed fully and in it's entirety. In this lifetime or the next, it matters not. In time it will be seen.

All I had wanted was a family and a community where I was loved and a useful part of. Everything that I had dreamt of was stolen from me, by many greedy individuals who never deigned to do anything other than seek a selfish profit from it all. But like I said earlier, there is a price for everything. If you're reading this you have to know it. You will pay. Everything dies. In that place that is between worlds I will be waiting and you will not be born again. So saith I.

I will dive into the deepest  depths of my soul and bring forth the power that is most ancient, yet permeates everything. I will sacrifice my whole being to the Supreme, die while still living, merge with the Eternal, and lay down the justice of the One in All. I am not a prophet. I am not the messiah. I am a man who has been wronged beyond anything I could have ever conceived and I will have justice. Vengeance I will leave to God.

I will not raise a weapon against my enemy, unless it is in self defense. I will not take to the streets and lead. I will stand alone against all the forces arrayed against me and I will be victorious, in this life and the next.

If you believe me to be insane or find this to be a bunch of superstition, then you have never felt the pain that I have felt due to the madness of the world, and you have never looked deeper into the nature of the self and the universe than what you've been led to believe. That is fine. Everything will be seen for what it is.

Here is a lesson for you: my pain is my power. Desperation has led me further than I had once thought possible. Faith led me through the fire without being burnt, my own authority and truth have given me the strength where I thought I had none. You have all born witness to it. I need not speak of it further.

Fear me. Fear what I have had to become in order to set the balance right. You have only this life to live. Use it well, you will get no other. 

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