The Dream of Death's Court: A Sorrowful Goodbye

When I was growing up I was told to pay attention to dreams. That they could guide you to right action through foreseen troubles. Then I learned that I could create dreams, that I could dream in waking day. I grew up with stories of Gods and Monsters, Angels and Demons, Heroes and Villains. They painted and shaped my world with their invisible appendages, thoughts and emotions.

Who is to say what will be when we end, is all up to whatever their imagination can aspire it to be. With the sorrows that the world carries, it can only hope that we find some sort of justice for each of our deeds when passing into the next life. What would you do? Who would be in your pantheon? How would you feel?

I don't know about anyone else but I really like super serious reflection and finding ways to bring grim scenarios the due they deserve. I find that my tether to the living world is strong enough to prevent me from losing my way, but there was a point where I had given up all hope, ready to face whatever justice lay before me.

In the Christian tradition that I grew up in, we were given a court room scenario, in which Christ would be our advocate before God. As I decided to venture along my own path, I've thought about who would be my Advocate, and who would be my Judge. I've given serious weight to who would be my enemies and who would be my heroes. I've confronted each of those things, on my cosmic scale.

Maybe that's why this was so easy to write, because it's played out in my head so many times, but I had been so immersed in sorrow I had not the light to reflect. And for whatever reason the universe has given me one reason to never give in. So all this remains is a dream, a fading pain. Every so often something triggers a vivid reality and I use that as a method to reflect. It keeps that tiny spark alive, undying in the void.

Let's explore a coward's death, dishonored, and disavowed.  The life spark within had burnt out, a hallowed husk of what could have been. This was a possible future, a broken path. A What If(?) had I been successful in my first attempt back in 2012 after my accident.

Enjoy

*************

My head shoots off the table as if it had been smacked, drool matting my beard. Last thing I remember was looking over at my dog as I placed the gun's barrel into my mouth. I was apologizing...

I look over to see a shadow coalescing into a vaguely human shape coming in from the judge's office. Somewhere in the back of my mind I register somebody saying, "please rise." Glancing around I realize I'm already standing. My hands are empty. The lights are too bright. I can't feel my breathing or my heartbeat.

**MWA-MWA-MWA**

I look over at the direction of the sound. The man shape to my left is slowing coming into form, like smoke becoming solid in front of me. His kind and knowing eyes are the first to appear. I freeze as they uncover my own shadows and weigh my very soul.

"Sit down, son. It's okay. Everyone experiences the disorientation. Your method of death the most difficult. Some spirits don't even make it through the transition and go straight to dissolution." His mouth appears as a wry smile and a bushy brown beard bursts into life around it. "I've reviewed your case. Thank you for your prayers."

"Whaaa...?" Lights and shadows dance around the room forming into the jury and the audience. "But Kali? The Morrigan? ...Odin? Kratos?"

"Sit down, everything will be explained as soon as everyone finishes arriving. Kali, she's the goddess of destruction. Morrigan, the goddess of Death whose aspect is set to judge you right now. Odin is more prone to hanging himself in sacrifice to himself than appearing in a court room... and Kratos is a video game character." He gestures wildly behind him, "All the other gods, spirits, ancestors, ghosts, demons, and all manner of creatures that you've ever imagined and have hidden from your imagination are here to witness today's sorrow.*" By this time he had finished manifesting and was brushing ash off of his pants with his left hand. His entire right arm is covered with a black wolf pelt and under it peaks the hilt of a fine sword with a silver pommel. His clothing well made, but simple, showing no adornments but the heavy weave and tight stitching.

I grab the back of my chair and slowly sit down while taking in the rest of the room.

The myths and legends I grew up with filled up every seat. Orcs & Humans, Elves & Dwarves, angels, demons, gods, monsters, sins, and virtues... I recognize them all. When I pass my gaze over to the Juror's area, I sink lower into my chair. Six of my Heroes and Six of my Enemies all stare quietly at me. I look over at the man who I suppose is my lawyer. "Am I on trial..?"

"It will be explained to you in a moment. Relax. You died. This is my favorite part. I love the introductions."

"Mr. Bryant, please stand," The Morrigan began. "Your life will be reviewed, weighed, and judged, in accordance to the the Laws of Spiritual Accountability." She waves her right hand in front of her to acknowledge the audience and her cloak of shadow mists parts to reveal her unclothed form beneath. She gives me a wicked grin. "All mankind find that their afterlife experience is exactly what they believe in the deepest and most secret parts of their hearts. I am the Chooser of the Slain and you have given me offerings and prayers in according to your ancestral traditions. I will judge and choose your fate. Do you have anything to say before we begin?"

"Staff Sergeant, Ma'am."

"Excuse me?"

"It's a title I earned in life. I would request that I be recognized by it. If you are to be my judge and the man next to me be my advocate," I gesture and look at him in the eye. He smiles," the god of war and justice from the Norse pantheon," I look back at The Morrigan, "then I believe that what I earned in life under your spheres of influence should be acknowledged."

"Well then, Staff Sergeant Bryant, I grant your request. Anything else?"

"No, Ma'am. I'm prepared."

"Then let us begin. Your ancestors will bear witness. Your Heroes and Enemies will weigh your life. Tyr will advocate for fairness. I will be the final arbiter."