A Life, Mythological

 The stories and myths of the world have been my soul's lifeblood ever since I could read "Green Eggs & Ham" by Dr. Seuss on my own. I probably read that one a thousand times. I think of it often when I come upon things that I do not want to do or that I do not like. Of maybe all the stories I've read, I have a deeper connection to this one than my Bible. 

When I first started speaking out against drones and their modern uses in warfare, it wasn't to be a hero, a martyr, famous or infamous, or even for popularity. I knew that there would be some opposition, but nothing of the sort that I'd encountered. I didn't think that human beings were as horrible as I've since seen first hand. 

Another mythology that I feel describes my situation is one where a man is cursed to toil forever in a field unless he tricks somebody to take over for him. Everyone and their mother knew that when I left the Drone program, that it was with a bitter heart and zero satisfaction with the mission or the job. Everyone knew that even if I was dissatisfied, that I still treated people with respect due to their rank, if not their person. Everyone knew that I worked harder than anyone else, to the point of collapse and burnout. 

My brothers and sisters knew that I loved them like no other because we were in the same bullshit together. 

Or I thought they did.

One of my biggest faults, I understand, is that I trust people to always want to strive for what is right and good. I've made a lot of poor choices for friends and associates, mainly because I remember being told "that's what Jesus would do," growing up. It's not the healthy that need a doctor, he would say. But even though I had the finest spiritual guidance in the persons of my Great Grandfather and my Mother, I was still an idiot.

I think that since the military used my own faith as a weapon against my spirit to get me to kill and accept it for God's Will, I lost my trust in anything that anyone could say to me as true. I've had to hold so many people to account of their word versus their actions that have failed to do the right thing, that I'm unsure of even how to proceed with my own life at this point. 

My Stalker, Rick Rynearson, has purposely put my own life in danger, multiple times, with his tabloid and extremist behavior, that I am not safe in my own hometown anymore. For a creature who claims to be a Law Abiding Citizen, against Police Abuse, and for Justice, he sure played me into their hands in a gross violation of anything Lawful, Peaceful, or Just. He once tried to set me up to get arrested at some convention, but I'm lucky he's an alcoholic and an ego driven idiot. I had once thought that his lame attempts to label me as some sort of Death Cult leader was hilarious, as if that was the best that the opposition could come up with to use against me when I've given them plenty of other things to use, then I had nothing to worry about. Every time I spoke to Ratnearson, he was drunk, it was because of that I knew I could never trust him.

Soon afterwards, the threats against my person rose nearly 10x. . Ranger Veterans in my own home town, who wrestled for my grandfather, threatened my very life and made me swear on the life of my Grandfather. I had underestimated the one thing that I should not have: The stupidity of the Average man. 

In a world of access to too much information, I had thought that we would be better at discerning what was real and what was not. I had believed that the deep abiding curiosity for the mysteries of life were shared by everyone of my generation. I had believe that we were not going to repeat the mistakes of the past. 

However, that is not the case, as it seems that Humanity as a whole has a few more lessons that it needs to learn before it can get it's shit together. It seems that the failure to respond and lead in a crisis has spread from the top down, to where even my own local city council would rather give $17 million dollars to a local millionaire for the building of his entertainment empire than spend that money on keeping the citizens of that same community fed, clothed, and safe during a global pandemic. 

So I guess that I shouldn't be surprised that where the United States of America is at. It's there because it's full of sin and corruption on the deepest levels, and as that corruption comes to light, I hope that the people see it for what it is. 

My Great Grandfather spent a lot of time having me recite my favorite Bible verses, and I spent a lot of time on my own memorizing and reciting the things my favorite authors wrote, and the wisdom of all religions. I can definitely, for sure, 100% say that what the United States has done in at least the last 20 year is violate everything sacred. I can also say that nothing that I have said is new or original, it's been said by thousands before me and it will be said by thousands after me. I am no prophet, my birth was not an auspicious occasion, I do not seek to be popular, or wealthy, or even anyone's friend. I only seek to tell you the truth like it should be, regardless of the cost or consequences. 

If I've learned anything in my readings it is at least that.

What I had really been searching for was a man of caliber and authority that could pick up this unlucky burden that I, a lowly Staff Sergeant, had been loaded with. A mentor who could guide me through the sea of sorrow and grief and helplessness and rage that sought to drown me in it's ever present hurricane. What I wanted is to just do the right thing, to be on the side of good.

I've shared many things seeking that solidarity with others but mankind is too blinded by the cellphones that they hold glued to their faces. I've had people tell me that they "don't support me" for one reason or another, when that's simply ego. I've been wronged by so many people, on so many levels. I've done nothing but right, been punished for the inadequacy of others and for things I've never done, things other's accuse me of. I've every right to be angry and upset. 

I've had my life threatened by a knife thrown at my head, the man intended to kill me, and he was released from jail with a Felony assault charge for 1/10th of mine, for yelling at city council. I have police stalk me every time I take my dog for a walk, and members of the local Crips along my path lying in ambush, waiting for a moment to strike. The individuals who convinced me to stand up to the City Council have abandoned me after I told them to take the pandemic seriously, and I found out that their idea of friendship was as fragile as their minds. 

Like I said before, Ratnearson, if any harm comes to me or anyone I love, I am placing the entire blame upon your head and I will bring this before the entire world and finally get justice. It is no longer a game, and I will place you on the "witness stand" so you can lie under oath and show everyone what a pathetic little ankle you are. 

I served my country loyally and faithfully and was betrayed. I brought serious and deadly issues before the whole world and was betrayed. I was betrayed by my own community, and I will be betrayed by my own Justice system, they've already shown us that they will not listen to reason or abide by the truth. I have to do nothing, because the only thing I'm guilty of is murder for the USA Military Industrial Complex. My punishment will only be a cursed stain upon the already soiled soul of the USA. 

That is not a myth, that is real.  And one day it will be Legend.