This was an essay that I wrote almost a year to the day before my accident in 2012 that changed everything in my life. I just found it this morning digging through my writings. Thought I would share because it's relevant.
Instead of just explaining it, just read. Thank you.
-Brandon
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SEARCHING FOR VALHALLA
“I will continue to bring the Victory, brother, and I will see you in Valhalla.” These were the final words spoken in a 2011 funeral for a fallen Combat Control Tactician of the U.S. Air Force Special Operations Command. Over 300 people showed up to honor the life this man had led. This day and age, events like these are few and far between.
Today, at many military funerals in America, you can see people picketing and disrespecting those that have passed away. They associate death with punishment and wrong-doing. To bring up the subject of death incites fear. Why should that be? Nearly all modern religions teach that by following a required precept, the afterlife will be paradise. But those that fail to meet the requirements shall be punished. The Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) have Heaven and Hell, while Buddhists have the concept of Dharma to determine if/how you will be reincarnated or if you will break the Cycle of Life and Death. These are just some examples of today’s modern religions.
Fear has always been a part of the human condition. Death, in particular, is held in the forefront in that regard because the afterlife is largely unknown. Instead of being a blatant phobia, it was always accompanied by one thing: respect. That was because it came about to all living creatures.
Prior to the Monotheistic (One God) concept introduced by Judaism and Zoroastrianism, everyone who died went to the same place. It was only much later that the concepts of individual afterlives based on deeds done were introduced. One of the earliest known came around because of the concept of Ragnarok, Old Norse for “Twilight of the Gods”
I have always wondered why the Vikings would have tales of their gods dying and the changing the whole world. But the idea is not as morbid as it first seems. It is the idea of change, how the older gods die while the younger ones help usher in a new world. In correlation with the Judeo-Christian belief of a flood, at the end of Ragnarok the world floods and it is up to two people to repopulate the whole world, while the warriors of Valhalla and Folkvangr/Sessrumnir keep watch over the world.
Valhalla is one of the Norse resting places of the honored dead who have fallen in battle, . Also called “Hall of the Slain,” it is located in Asgard and presided over by Odin One-Eye, All-Father of the Norse gods. Its rafters are made of spear shafts and the roof is made of golden shields. Those honored are the “lone fighters,” or the Einherjar, warriors who have stood above their peers and have lead their people to battle. Those that rest here drink mead, eat good food, and recount tales of past battles for all to hear. It is said that at Ragnarok, after Fenrir kills Odin, the Einherjar will ride forth with the youngest gods and slay the beast.
The other resting place for those that fell in battle is called Folkvangr or Sessrumnir. This is where Freyja, the Norse Goddess of battle and a Valkyrie, chooses half of the fallen to preside with her until Ragnarok. All warriors wait to fight again and until that happens they hone their skills during the day and feast during the night
This premise has attracted my attention not only because of the value of honor and dedication it takes for the warriors to be named Einherjar, but also because of the way they are honored by those that are still living. They knew that everybody died, even the gods, and the only way to truly succeed in this world is to give it all or die trying. I applied this philosophy during my military career many times. It helped me succeed against overwhelming odds and in the end leave as a decorated warrior who fought for the people. Others today may not care but I know my own actions and I never shirked from duty.
Many cultures, including Greeks, Jews, Persians, Chinese, Japanese, and Native Americans to name just a few, have viewed warriors with reverence. They protected the young, women, infirm from hostile outside forces while they also hunted to supply their people with food. At some point they became professional fighters whose entire task was defense and war. Hunting and gathering became its own task. Entire cultures have risen and fallen on the power of their fighting force. And it was the kings who lead the fighting and prepared for war. Examples of this can be found throughout history and in many myths or legends as well.
Today leaders sit behind the lines directing people to do things they wouldn’t even do themselves. Three times removed how easy is it to pull the trigger and forget about the enemy? There is no respect or honor in that, just numbers. And while that is the reality of war, many of the higher echelon forget the number one rule of leadership: do not order somebody to do something that you yourself would not or have not done. They send men to their deaths with no fear. But to their eyes they are not men, they are only numbers subtracting other numbers from the enemy.
In my opinion our society has lost something. We belittle repercussions for our own actions because we can make decisions that do not even affect our own lives. While on one hand we are afraid to let somebody die to the point of keeping them on life support, possibly suffering immensely. On the other hand we are afraid to punish people for their deeds. We play God only on one end of the spectrum. Fear is the key behind these decisions.
Where exactly does this fear come from? Most people talk about leaving those they love behind or leaving what they own. Some talk about not knowing what is beyond the veil. To be honest, when I was younger my fear of dying came from the fact my favorite book series was not finished. The author later died before he could finish the series himself. It made me think about what I value and why. It shocked my system that all I have could be taken away. For a while I feared that I would never define myself and that my life would end tragically. I would never have a family, kids, grandkids, know a woman’s love, or even own a pet. Even though I no longer thought material things as truly valuable to my heart, it was the immaterial things that I thought and worried about constantly.
In my favorite book series called The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan, the central character is told that in order to save the world, he must destroy it. At the end of it all his blood will be spilt upon the rocks as a price to be paid. This bothers him quite a bit. He seeks advice from the man training him in the art of war. The first thing he tells him,” Whatever comes, face it on your feet.” The second thing he says, “Death is lighter than a feather, duty is heavier than a mountain.” The main character thinks about this and responds that the mountain may be too heavy and if there would be a chance to put it down. al’Lan, the teacher, simply says, “When death comes.”
The seed this planted in my life took a long time to sprout. It was not until I saw people living these sayings that I truly understood. The men I saw were training hard and performing with excellence. They understood the price of failure. These warriors also accepted what could happen to them and it did not phase them.
There is something strange about the human thought process and death. While many religions place an important role on what happens in the afterlife, most are pretty close to what we experience in our current lives. Sure we go back to our best health and the age when we hit our peak, but the activities seem bland. I, myself, would love to meet famous kings and warriors of ages past. Poets, angels, inventors, singers, and storytellers. I would like to experience the universe as something beyond this life. Hear colors, taste sounds, or maybe we even get more senses to accompany those we have in this life.
While I believe that nobody should look to death as an escape, or even with anticipation like a child at Christmas time, it should not be look upon with fear or revulsion. Ignoring it would also be a bad idea. Death is a natural thing. Valar morghulis, valar dohaeris: all men must die, first we’ll live.
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