Introduction to Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan

Back in 2018 I had a psychedelia trip that showed me the Tibetan Buddhist Dharma Protectors wandering in the Montana backwoods and a complete tour of the "Cycle of Birth and Death." The closest thing that I could account it to would be Dante's Divine Comedy, and my own personal place in line for the Cosmic Judgement. I was connected to my entire line of ancestors and descendants. 

It was humbling and empowering to say the least. I was told that my repentance was seen as sincere, and as long as I promised to sin no more, I would be set free. I read the story of Mila Repa. I read the Buddhist texts, some Zen, some Shinto. But truly I was led to the Taoist texts and the universe keeps... blatantly throwing it in my face. Not that I mind, I've found some old and significant writings that I love so much I've read over and over. 

One of them has been the Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan, as it perfectly depicts exactly what I saw and experienced to such a degree is all I have to do is read the text or even meditate on it and I'm back there. If I were to dig further on it's significance to me, I use it as a measure for people's character that I come across. I find it harsh but ultimately fair. 

Some of the punishments are silly and clever and puts some of Dante's to shame.

Thank you for your patience, here is the Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan as it was given to me.

***

On the birthday of the Savior, as the spirits of Purgatory were thronging round to offer their congratulations, the ruler of the Infernal Regions spake as follows:

"My wish is to release all souls, and every moon as this day comes round I would wholly or partially remit the punishment of erring shades and give them life once more in one of the Six Paths of Angels, Men, Demons, Hungry Ghosts, Brute Beasts, and Tortured Sinners. But alas! the wicked are many and the virtuous few. Nevertheless, the punishments in the dark region are too severe and require some modification. Any wicked soul that repents and induces one or two others to do likewise shall be allowed to set this off against the punishments which should be inflicted."

The Judges of the Ten Courts of Purgatory then agreed that all who led virtuous lives from their youth upwards shall be escorted at their death to the land of the Immortal; that all those whose balance of good and evil is exact  shall escape the bitterness of the Three States of the Hungry Ghosts, Brute Beasts, and Tortured Sinners, and be born again amongst Men; that those who have repaid their debts of gratitude and friendship, and fulfilled their destiny, yet have a balance of evil against them, shall pass through the various Courts of Purgatory and then be born again amongst Men, rich or poor, old or young, diseased or crippled, to be put a second time upon trial. Then, if they behave well, they may enter into some happy state; but if badly they will be dragged by horrid devils through all the Courts, suffering bitterly as they go, and will again be born, to endure in life the uttermost in poverty and wretchedness, in death the everlasting tortures in Hell.

Those who are disloyal, unfilial, who commit suicide, take life indiscriminately, or disbelieve the Doctrine of Cause and Effect, saying to themselves that when a man dies there is an end to him, that when he has lost his skin he has already suffered the worst that can befall him, that living men can be tortured but no one ever saw a man's ghost in the pillory, that after Death all is unknown, etc-- truly these men do not know that the body alone perishes but the Soul lives forever and ever; and that whatsoever evil they in in life, the same will be done unto them in the life to come.

All who commit such crimes are handed over to the everlasting tortures of Hell; for alas! in spite of the teachings of the Three Systems, some will persist in regarding these warnings as vain and empty talk. Lightly they speak of Divine mercy and knowingly commit many crimes, not more than one in a hundred ever coming to repentance. Therefore the punishments of Purgatory were strictly carried out and the tortures dreadfully severe.

But now it has been ordained that any man or woman, young or old, weak or strong, who may have sinned in any way, shall be permitted to obtain remission of the same by keeping his or her thoughts constantly on the Savior and on the birthdays of the Judges of the Ten Courts, by fasting and prayer, and by vows never to sin again. Or for every good work in life they shall be allowed to escape one ward in the Courts below.

From this rule to be excepted: Disloyal ministers, unfilial sons, suicides, those who plot in secret against good people, those who are struck by lightning, those who perish in flood or fire, by wild animals, or poisonous reptiles -- there to pass through all the Courts and be punished according to their deserts. All other sinners to be allowed to claim their good works as a set-off against evil, thus partially escaping the agonies of Hell and receiving some reward for their virtuous acts.

This account of man's wickedness on the earth and the punishments in store for him was written in language intelligible to every man and woman, and was submitted for the approval of the Savior, the intention being to wait the return of some virtuous soul among the sons of men and by these means publish it all over the earth. When the Savior saw what had been done, he said it was good; and on the 3rd of the 8th moon proceeded with the ten Judges of Purgatory to lay this book before God.

Then God said, "Good indeed! Good indeed! Henceforth let all spirits take note of any mortal who vows to lead a virtuous life and, repenting, promises to sin no more. Two punishments shall be remitted him. And if in addition to this he succeed in doing five virtuous acts, then he shall escape all punishment and be born again in some happy state. But more than five virtuous acts shall enable such a soul to obtain the salvation of others and redeem partner and family from the tortures of Hell. Let these regulations be published in the Divine Panorama and circulated on earth by the power of the City Guardians. In fear and trembling obey this decree and carry it reverently into effect."

Moral Injury

I feel that the longer that I live and understand the horrors of the modern world, the deeper my heart wound gets. 

When I started this journey, it truly was one of repentance and belief in a "if we could just see the error of our ways" ideology. In my youth I was taught about Man's "Fall from Grace", Biblically, but to me that was just a story. Maybe growing up in Missoula, isolated mostly from the outside world, prevented me from seeing the state of mankind. I even went into the military being told that we were fighting against "God's enemies."

I had no understanding of anything. I still don't, but I really didn't back then. I attribute my personal success from a combination of innocence and stupidity. Innocent of anterior motives, and stupid enough to believe that there might be some inherent goodness in man. I criticize myself harshly, but, I did follow Biblical instruction and it led me... here.

I see emptiness all around. I find my own countrymen, my own neighbors, have threatened my very life. My local police and government have already put me in danger multiple times, and the funny thing about this whole affair, is that NEVER ONCE EVER SINCE I killed for the military industrial complex have I ever wanted or declared to ever want to again, feel that stain on my soul. 

That seems to be threatening to people. And when I call for final accountability of my government officials who not only continue to fraudulently waste taxpayer money on frivolous bullshit, have given themselves a $9 hour raise in a time of crisis. It's been 2 years since I called it out. Since I learned the character of the people of my hometown. The Jury was excellent, but the people of Missoula, the people I called friend? Failed me. There just is no other words, and they continue to do so. 

I think it is in poor judgement that people on social media keep "referring me" to mental health. I spent years in therapy, and I traveled to do plant medicine. My mental, spiritual, and emotional health are the best they've been. My anger does not stem from any sort of madness. It comes because I have a wounded heart, and instead of comfort and care from not only my community but my own country, I was ostracized and outcaste.

I stained my soul in the name of "freedom and democracy," and in return I got a fat disgraced Major who thinks that he can make a name for himself by calling me a liar and getting people to threaten my life. In return all I can see is everything in our society covered in blood. When I smell oil, I also smell the burn pits in Iraq. When I see the state of the State, and that we have truly been misled, I feel sickness deep within that I gave up my purity for that. For the People of my Country to shit on me, turn their backs on me, and for our political and business leaders to continue to destroy everything that I was told I gave my heart and soul and mind and body for. 

To know that whenever I reach out to anyone for help, I'm being monitored, tracked, and interfered with. That no government agency will interact with me out of respect for my "differences" aka whistleblowing, with the government. I mean, the reason I blew the whistle in the first place was because rules were not being followed, and I've been verified about that on every media outlet in the world as well as 32 Academic, peer-reviewed, publications to date. All I want is for shit to work, and to feel whole again. Is that too much to ask?

Can you not see my hurt at what it is that we have done and become? I see myself as no different than those that I criticize, because I was in it myself. I started off in basic training as the Midnight guard and toilet cleaner. I was the lowest of us all, before you all thought I was less than nothing. 

I didn't do anything I did for fame, fortune, adventure. It has not been a pleasant journey, though I have had several pleasant moments. I finally am at peace with myself. I no longer hate myself. But I still think that our modern society is the vile stain of Babylon's leftovers. I still think that nothing that I have done has any real significance. Nothing really changed, people just accepted it. The people that listened to what I had to say only used it to verify their own beliefs, without ever caring about me as a person. I was told that everyone sees me as a murderer who walks free, and it's hard to be friends with a murderer. 

There is a saying in Africa, "The speaker of Truth has no friends." I think my grandfather tried to prepare me for it. It's Biblical even. "A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country and own hometown." I don't consider myself anything but I do know the sin that will drown America in its own karma is happening right now, and in this moment I'm telling you"

Repent, for the End is upon us. Not in any Apocalyptic sense, but in that we don't know when that will be, the signs of the times seem dire indeed. I fear that our poisoning of the planet has gone beyond the point of no return. If we have to face a judgement in the afterlife, let it be knowing we did our best, even with our wounded hearts. 

Coming up next, The Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan, or Divine Panorama.

Oh, How I Weep for Thee.

I find humanity unbearable nowadays.

There are quite a few people upset about MY words. I see this as funny, because while they are harsh words, they pale in comparison to the actions that they are inviting you to witness. I've been banned on every social media platform because of it. 

I was banned on Twitter for pointing out that Kongsberg, Norway was using war refugees in their factories that are creating weapon parts that are used in the weapons resulting in the refugees in the first place. The response that I got was "war is profitable and it gives them a better life." A) war is not profitable. Taking from the bottom to give to the top, is an all-in-all-out decrease. Temporarily a few might benefit, but really everyone ends up suffering in the long run. 

I was banned on Instagram for posting my artwork, and somebody kept reporting me for inappropriate content. I got banned on Facebook for my International Whistleblowing in the use of Targeted drone killing in the Middle East. But this next one really takes the cake for me.

I was banned on Reddit because somebody in my home subreddit reported me for "hate towards a minority group" when talking about how all pedophiles should face the death sentence, because I was violated by one in my church when I was going into the second grade, and when I told an adult, they covered it up and they made me fear hell because I was "gay." I next followed it up with how I ran into two actual pedos trying to sell off some kids that I ran into back in 2018ish. I was at the local trampoline park, and a little girl tried to get me to go play in a corner with her, and I asked where her parents were, she pointed me to an overweight bearded man. I went over to the woman I was on a date with, and pointed him out but he saw and ran. We reported it to the police and heard nothing further until a few weeks ago when it was reported that a pedo ring was broken up. There is a Missoulian article about it.

But the City tried to cover up the identities, the only way we found out who they were was by looking at the booking records. Pointing all this out, got me perma-banned from Reddit. However, I went up the chain of command and they're now looking into who reported me, because I also keep getting reported when I talk about the local corruption in my City Council, and the bullshit things that are going in full view of everyone. 

We have police that kill their own to protect wicked men. We have politicians that sell out their local populous for the almighty dollar. We have greedy landlords, gluttonous businessmen, false preachers, and a society that feeds off blood and violence.... We have no Pillars of Society. We have no Wise People leading us into the future. Evil-doers arise, none try to subdue them. The people are in misery, no one relieves them. Clerks are corrupt, no one restrains them. Laws decay, no one renews them. Our officials glut themselves off of the welfare of the State and know no shame. They build themselves fine houses, ride fancy vehicles, drink themselves stupid then have the taxes pay for their recovery, and eat the best foods available. Which of them do anything more than put on the illusion of a dignified mien? All gold and gems without, dry husks within. 

Yet these people are not even at once concerned about these things but they are very particular about my words.

In The Darkness, Only A Snake Knows His Own Feet

Let me tell you what's up. 

I won. and I failed. 

Life sure has changed in the Pandemic Era. Let's not kid ourselves, we are still full up in this business. It will probably be a long bit before we recover from the Idiocy of Ego, the Siberian Saga, alongside NATO Neo-Colonial Greed, How to Collapse Your Own Civilization for Money. 

As for my personal life, regardless of how many Academic articles reference me (so far 30+), and whatnot related to Whistleblowing, it is an absolute crunk of a failure. I wish I could find the words to describe my supreme disappointment at everything. In the last 2 years, I have had 3 men try to take my life from me, one of them a 3rd time Felony Offender, all let go without charge. Every day that I would take my dog for a walk I would be followed, by several people, and I felt like I would be jumped at any moment because my actions have become an inconvenience to those who would do business in darkness. 

All I've ever done is try to do the right thing. I never hurt anybody, I never did more than express my hurt and anger over how I've been treated, and it's only given me further mistreatment. 

"We've all moved on." I've been told several times. No, You've left me behind because you got what you wanted. I sacrificed my mind, body, heart, and soul to do the right thing and was just left broken and alone. I feel like the prodigal son, but without anywhere to go to as I have no father, and I have been disowned by my Christian relatives. 

The worst part is, I only acted as I did because I was taught to follow my heart and do the right thing via Christianity, and I am pariah everywhere I go in my own home town, and mistreated by those I once called loved ones. I was told that America stood for "Liberty and Justice for All," and all I see everywhere is Patriot Christians going against everything that Christ and supposedly what the Constitution and Bill of Rights were written to represent.

Somebody once asked me if they could still be Christian and an Anarchist, and my response was, "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's, give unto God what is Gods." He didn't like it so I tried to expand it like this. I said that only you can define what you believe is God's and what is a king's. If you don't believe that anything belongs to man, then everything simply belongs to God.

I believe god is everything. The One. When I was younger I used to feel connected to it. I couldn't tell you what it was, exactly, but I felt whole, once. My service to the military severed my connection to it, and ever since then I've felt only loss and grief. I've taken Psychedelics, by myself and with authentic shamans, and its only made the wounds more clearly defined. They were not the cure I thought they would be. I classify them as medicine, but they can only take you so far, the rest is up to you. And as far as I've discovered, once the connection has been severed, it's like you're a living deadman, and there is no way to reconnect. 

At least that's what I've been told. 

While I am living in the Sphere of God's influence, I still feel lost and alone. My little boy heart can't take it.

I'm not eager to die, but I have no will to live anymore. I have no close friends, no family, no loved ones. My dog is sick and dying. He was the only thing that I ever really cared about in my lifetime, and I sacrificed my time and life with him to do the Whistleblower bullshit. And, if I can be Frank, I regret it all because I believed in the greatness of mankind and all I've seen is wretched garbage. The way I've been treated has been horrendous. The last 10 years have been Hell on Earth, for me. I swear the world ended in 2012. 

At least the one thing that Psychedellics have for sure told me is that taking my own life is no escape from this place, so I might as well wait it out. The best "training" I ever got from the Military was the ability to wait forever for shit to go down and to "nap as needed". The only reason I survived was because of the Power Nap. It should be it's own AFSC.

That's the last joke I have for you.

I'll leave you with this, if you ever came across me and treated me with good intentions and a pure heart, I wish you only blessings in this lifetime. If you ever came to me with ulterior motives, may you fall from your own deceptions so that everyone can see. 

May the spirit of Brandon Wayne Bryant, Rest In Peace, because now I am nobody and filled only with sorrow. If we meet on the street, we are strangers, I care not for anything this world has to give.

The Story Thus Far...

 I joined the USA Military Branch of the Air Force overconfident and underzealous. In trying to stay away from participating in direct action in war, I found myself strangely directly observing the battlefield live from the safety of a Top Secret Compartmentalized department safely tucked away in Sin City itself. The Devil already controlled the sand that blew in that desolate place, and the wickedness of War was played at like a game of chance. Generals betting the lives of men and ending those who would stand in their way with the whisper of a command and the push of a button. 

The Ending was not peace but greed, which could have no end. Where I had once trusted that we were on the side of good, I witnessed the kind of inferior man that seeks power because he was once made powerless, made decisions of life and death then congratulate themselves for winning a "War on Terror" while being terrible themselves. For everything that we do to our "enemy" so shall be done to us in equal measure if finishing the conflict is not the intended goal. 

I was a part of that. I killed, but had I any control of the situation I would not have. I witnessed countless other atrocities done, and the good ol' boys club that ran it. It was my faith that had sustained me, my previous understanding that I must bear witness to the things that have been done, none greater than my own misdeeds. The drama that happened at my expense had me separated from my peers, for a shame that was unknown to me. I was punished for things that I didn't do, and I was punished for things that I fixed immediately with no harm done. I was punished for other people's perceptions of who they thought that I was. 

But I am my Grandfather's protege, above all else I will honor his teachings, in the face of all the hurt that I've been given. When I first started speaking about my experiences, I didn't realize that my name would be released, and I had intended to kill myself after the publication, in the traditional style of sepukku, the only way that I could think of restoring my honor after everything else. The only reason I didn't was because of what was said about me in forums by people that I knew. People that I had once stood up for, people that I had once called brother and sister, people who knew that what I was saying was true. 

I never broke any promise that I made. I never didn't give my genuine self because I recognized that the shit that I was in we all were in and there were people that were getting away with fraud, waste, and abuse of government resources simply because they could spend the money and get more every year. We had the same people over and over and over, fly the same shifts over and over and over again. Leadership only flew to maintain currency and to get flight pay. Flight Pay for not flying. 

I never got flight pay, yet when I left I had the most flight Hours in the 3rd SoS by almost 2500. All thanks to my being "punished" for trying to actually be nice to a girl who broke my heart. I know what she said about me, after I gave her a choice of me or somebody else in the squadron that confessed feelings for her. I had asked my grandfather what to do and he said to just be kind to her, and be her friend and support her. I did until she fooled around with my Best Friend at the time, and then my roommate, and then some other guy. I tried to make peace in front of people and also in private. I was harassed by some dipshit on fucking MySpace, who somehow also started sending weird shit to everyone else in my squadron and it was blamed on me by the first sergeant. 

From there I just stayed to my video games. World of WarCraft saved my life. Being able to overwrite my nightmares of infrared ghosts with Orcs and Elves and monsters of all kind. Then I got hacked, by one of my guildies I think, and my account banned because he was doing shady shit with an alt that I never logged into. I lost a lot on that account, but I moved on, instead of turning to faith that had been left in ruin, I turned to the focus and discipline of mastering my own body. I knew that I also didn't want to turn away from the military as what I saw a failure of an experience. I couldn't go home with this shame in my heart. 

All General Wurster had to do was sign my release from the Drone Program, so that I could go into SERE. All the 3rd SOS Dragons had to do was let their prized oxen that I had become, let me go work on rebuilding my honor and respect, after the bullshit that I had to deal with. I ran burnt myself out for ungrateful and miserable human beings. If I ever end up before "god" I will testify myself of it. I don't care what messiah they believe in, their actions have earned them a special place in Hell.  I only hope they live a long life knowing what awaits them. 

My actions of "whistleblowing" comes from the idea of a player or Referee calling a time-out. According to even Sun Tzu's the Art of War, we have lost this conflict, and it wasn't because we didn't have overwhelming force, but it was because we were misled on the Moral Law that governs conflict. I remember one pilot I flew with explaining to me that the Laws of Armed Conflict and the Rules of Engagement are not for our enemies who will most assuredly break them, but to show everyone that we are abiding by these boundaries. 

That's what kills me about Rynearson. By all rights, we should be allies. If his story of refusing an order is true, then he did the right thing by understanding his power in that moment. I was an Airman First Class. I was so fucking low on the totem pole to be nothing more than the warm body that sat in the seat to fulfill one basic function of assisting the pilot. I was so unimportant, that it's incredibly ironic that some people view me as such. 

My adventure that came about because of it is both terrifying and humbling. I reacquainted myself with the spirituality of the universe, and found a peace despite my incredible heartache. I broke everything of myself to escape the chains of murdering for evil men, because what is what I have done anything but? Sun Tzu says that War is evil, but if you must carrying it out here is how you should do it. But this is beyond even that evil, the waste of American resources with no ending in sight. The destruction of our fellow human beings for the sake of profit. 

While this is going on OCONUS, the CONUS side of things has been infiltrated by thugs and gangsters. In my own home town, taxes have skyrocketed, as Mayor John Engen plays the best Sheriff of Nottingham with the Missoula City Council. Willing to give away 17 Million dollars in tax money to a man whose father got rich by selling faulty medical equipment and then being ran out of his own state while running for congress, a man who is not even from here and already has the money. The project would have been under his "management" for 70 years, then it would be paid off and go back to the people of Missoula. That would be 70 years of future tax money taken. That would be our children's chrildren's children's children. Four generations in the future would be paying a Greedy Aristocrat for something that was admittedly never going to make money. My Great Grandparent's and other family members sold their homes because no one could afford to pay the taxes already in place. We were the Creme de la middle class. 

We went to Church twice a week, Sunday dinner was for everyone that could make it. For 3 generations before me, my family invested and gave to the community through service and teaching. Now where are they? Gone because they can't afford to live in a place that has sustained them since the 1970s. 

When I expressed the anger that I felt towards the city counsel, it was because I saw the same fraud, waste, and abuse that I witnessed in the military, but in my own home. The city counsel didn't care about it's community, just about the money pot that they thought they could take from because they didn't suffer the consequences of their actions, and their place in the city counsel seems more like a popularity contest than one of competence. 

When I pointed out their fallacies, they went to the internet to try to find something to "ruin" me. So I killed two birds with 1 stone. They took Rynearson's bait, and now they both have to answer for what they've done by putting me in danger and trying to ruin my life.

When I realized that the people of the USA wouldn't ever listen to what I had to say, that the biblical addum, "a prophet has no honor in his own country," applied to those of us that spoke the truth, I also knew that I would never escape this pain in my heart. I never thought that my own hometown would be the same. I think I may have had too high of an expectation from the people here. A River Runs Through It colored my perception. My own sense of home connecting me deeper to God than any book. It was here that my Grandfather taught me about God, and that the fruits that we bear are the ones that will tell us who we are. The garden of my heart had been burnt to the ground and the earth salted beneath my feet. I was unsure of any fruit that I could bear. I just knew that I couldn't let them get away with hurting my own community any more. 

Fie to you who think that I would lower myself to harm another again after what I was made to do. I never wish anyone harm, just for them to suffer the consequences of their actions in a way that get's them to see exactly what they have done. If God says that vengeance is his, then it is mine to live and not to do the things that I know would lead me down the path of darkness so deep that no light could ever reach me. 

What I expect from my government is this: professional discipline and actual corruption removal. Admitting one is wrong doesn't hurt one's reputation, it helps you evolve and not make the same mistake over and over. The US Government must admit that it has wronged it's own citizens, and that is the only way that it will become Great. The US Military must refuse to be used by greedy corporations and must finish the conflict, even if retreat is used. We must fix the things here at home before they destroy us in front of the whole world. We must address the greed and corruption from top to bottom, and we must hold those accountable for the actions that they've done. 

If there is true justice in this world, it will be done without conflict and in the light of truth. 

To my enemies, may you live forever with the full knowledge of what you've done. To my allies, may you find your Way and help as many as you are able. I will continue the path that have been on since I could walk and mend my own spirit. I have no care for anyone's opinion or manipulation. There has been nothing that I have done but to do everything I can to fix my own heart.

Right now my life is in danger by my own government. There really is evil in the world and it is not done by gods or devils but by man himself to himself. Once we realize that we will be free of gods and devils and be able to choose our own fate. I pray that the one we choose doesn't lead us to our own destruction. 

So far I've been nothing but disappointed with people. Maybe 2020 has shown them how to fight for themselves and the importance of it. Maybe we'll clean up the garbage in our society. First it has to start with us.

(OPEN LETTER) JUDGE SHANE VANETTA

To the First US Judge to Preside over my case, 

Your Honor,

I had this long story written down in my usual diatribe of poetic waxing an waning... but I had a revelation that hit me the other day that put me at ease with everything and I only want to say one thing.

I am extremely privileged  to bring this issue before you. I had once gone up the chain of command in my squadron (twice, actually) and gone up the chain of command outside my squadron. I couldn't find anyone to hold themselves accountable internally, so I went to somebody who would externally. Both dismissed me as being "a young airman who didn't know his place." We've all seen me go up the Civilian international Chain of Command, to being invited to witness and say something to the UN Security council. I did my best to try to remind us who we were. Or who I thought we were.

Now we are Judiciously involved with not only a legal issue but a Constitutional issue as well. If you couldn't tell, I've been sorely disappointed with the way that our society has been constructed, and believe that my participation in the United States Military War Machine has given me due right to make that voice heard. I have seen enough fraud, waste, and abuse of military resources, I couldn't bear being witness and helpless as I saw it again in my own community, where my own people's lives were at stake.

I am not here to wage a war against my own people. I am here for justice, and into your hands I commend the spirit to guide you. May you be the last stop on my upward slope to find what I need. In the end, I can only go up.

Respectfully,

Brandon W. Bryant

A Life, Mythological

 The stories and myths of the world have been my soul's lifeblood ever since I could read "Green Eggs & Ham" by Dr. Seuss on my own. I probably read that one a thousand times. I think of it often when I come upon things that I do not want to do or that I do not like. Of maybe all the stories I've read, I have a deeper connection to this one than my Bible. 

When I first started speaking out against drones and their modern uses in warfare, it wasn't to be a hero, a martyr, famous or infamous, or even for popularity. I knew that there would be some opposition, but nothing of the sort that I'd encountered. I didn't think that human beings were as horrible as I've since seen first hand. 

Another mythology that I feel describes my situation is one where a man is cursed to toil forever in a field unless he tricks somebody to take over for him. Everyone and their mother knew that when I left the Drone program, that it was with a bitter heart and zero satisfaction with the mission or the job. Everyone knew that even if I was dissatisfied, that I still treated people with respect due to their rank, if not their person. Everyone knew that I worked harder than anyone else, to the point of collapse and burnout. 

My brothers and sisters knew that I loved them like no other because we were in the same bullshit together. 

Or I thought they did.

One of my biggest faults, I understand, is that I trust people to always want to strive for what is right and good. I've made a lot of poor choices for friends and associates, mainly because I remember being told "that's what Jesus would do," growing up. It's not the healthy that need a doctor, he would say. But even though I had the finest spiritual guidance in the persons of my Great Grandfather and my Mother, I was still an idiot.

I think that since the military used my own faith as a weapon against my spirit to get me to kill and accept it for God's Will, I lost my trust in anything that anyone could say to me as true. I've had to hold so many people to account of their word versus their actions that have failed to do the right thing, that I'm unsure of even how to proceed with my own life at this point. 

My Stalker, Rick Rynearson, has purposely put my own life in danger, multiple times, with his tabloid and extremist behavior, that I am not safe in my own hometown anymore. For a creature who claims to be a Law Abiding Citizen, against Police Abuse, and for Justice, he sure played me into their hands in a gross violation of anything Lawful, Peaceful, or Just. He once tried to set me up to get arrested at some convention, but I'm lucky he's an alcoholic and an ego driven idiot. I had once thought that his lame attempts to label me as some sort of Death Cult leader was hilarious, as if that was the best that the opposition could come up with to use against me when I've given them plenty of other things to use, then I had nothing to worry about. Every time I spoke to Ratnearson, he was drunk, it was because of that I knew I could never trust him.

Soon afterwards, the threats against my person rose nearly 10x. . Ranger Veterans in my own home town, who wrestled for my grandfather, threatened my very life and made me swear on the life of my Grandfather. I had underestimated the one thing that I should not have: The stupidity of the Average man. 

In a world of access to too much information, I had thought that we would be better at discerning what was real and what was not. I had believed that the deep abiding curiosity for the mysteries of life were shared by everyone of my generation. I had believe that we were not going to repeat the mistakes of the past. 

However, that is not the case, as it seems that Humanity as a whole has a few more lessons that it needs to learn before it can get it's shit together. It seems that the failure to respond and lead in a crisis has spread from the top down, to where even my own local city council would rather give $17 million dollars to a local millionaire for the building of his entertainment empire than spend that money on keeping the citizens of that same community fed, clothed, and safe during a global pandemic. 

So I guess that I shouldn't be surprised that where the United States of America is at. It's there because it's full of sin and corruption on the deepest levels, and as that corruption comes to light, I hope that the people see it for what it is. 

My Great Grandfather spent a lot of time having me recite my favorite Bible verses, and I spent a lot of time on my own memorizing and reciting the things my favorite authors wrote, and the wisdom of all religions. I can definitely, for sure, 100% say that what the United States has done in at least the last 20 year is violate everything sacred. I can also say that nothing that I have said is new or original, it's been said by thousands before me and it will be said by thousands after me. I am no prophet, my birth was not an auspicious occasion, I do not seek to be popular, or wealthy, or even anyone's friend. I only seek to tell you the truth like it should be, regardless of the cost or consequences. 

If I've learned anything in my readings it is at least that.

What I had really been searching for was a man of caliber and authority that could pick up this unlucky burden that I, a lowly Staff Sergeant, had been loaded with. A mentor who could guide me through the sea of sorrow and grief and helplessness and rage that sought to drown me in it's ever present hurricane. What I wanted is to just do the right thing, to be on the side of good.

I've shared many things seeking that solidarity with others but mankind is too blinded by the cellphones that they hold glued to their faces. I've had people tell me that they "don't support me" for one reason or another, when that's simply ego. I've been wronged by so many people, on so many levels. I've done nothing but right, been punished for the inadequacy of others and for things I've never done, things other's accuse me of. I've every right to be angry and upset. 

I've had my life threatened by a knife thrown at my head, the man intended to kill me, and he was released from jail with a Felony assault charge for 1/10th of mine, for yelling at city council. I have police stalk me every time I take my dog for a walk, and members of the local Crips along my path lying in ambush, waiting for a moment to strike. The individuals who convinced me to stand up to the City Council have abandoned me after I told them to take the pandemic seriously, and I found out that their idea of friendship was as fragile as their minds. 

Like I said before, Ratnearson, if any harm comes to me or anyone I love, I am placing the entire blame upon your head and I will bring this before the entire world and finally get justice. It is no longer a game, and I will place you on the "witness stand" so you can lie under oath and show everyone what a pathetic little ankle you are. 

I served my country loyally and faithfully and was betrayed. I brought serious and deadly issues before the whole world and was betrayed. I was betrayed by my own community, and I will be betrayed by my own Justice system, they've already shown us that they will not listen to reason or abide by the truth. I have to do nothing, because the only thing I'm guilty of is murder for the USA Military Industrial Complex. My punishment will only be a cursed stain upon the already soiled soul of the USA. 

That is not a myth, that is real.  And one day it will be Legend.