It's Fucking Tuesday.

 Why Iran has won the war, even should their enemies prevail. 

An Essay by Brandon Wayne Bryant

I want to play World of Warcraft but I'm too busy obsessing over the mistakes my military is making. I want to go downtown to my favorite coffee shop and have my favorite barista make my favorite drink, while she vent to me for whatever reason it happens to be today. Instead, I'm watching my country fall apart and every effort to do something meaningful and helpful is met with corruption and greed. I would like to travel but the Local Police Department tried to kill me in the street over my walking stick then blamed me for it, like some Narcisistic DARVO, then protect a pedophile sex offender when he stole from me and attacked me. 

I would like to get on with my life but even that is upsetting to the Satanic Slavers we have running the show. I am a free man, I earned it through blood, word, and deed. I stood when everyone else fled, and won in the Court of Law, twice, while exposing  a rigged jury, and the stupid game they pretend to call "Justice." 

Today, as I write this, I have never felt so at peace in my own heart and self because I know that I will never be evil. I will never betray my own self for anything or anyone. I will never compromise my heart. But I will serve the greater good and my fellow man, even if I hate the state that they find themselves in. 

First off, I will be speaking through my own self, not at the behest of any agency other than my own heart. I know that there are people who watch me, good and bad, and that no one really knows what to make of me. I don't know what to make of me at times, other than I'm literally just trying to do the right thing to the extent that which I am capable of before God. I know my own sins and mistakes. I never ran from them, but grieved with them. I've sacrificed more than I should have for ungrateful people, and I would never change that about myself. It has made me a better man.

I have avoided writing anything mostly because of grief. I wanted to be at a place where my heart was free of the anger and sorrow, or at least had found comfort in some way. Nowhere else did I find myself but in the fires of my own hellscape. Having dispelled the illusion of the myth of America, curing myself of the Christian fever, all I could see of my country was the blood we have spilt from our fellow man, and the oil we have pulled from the earth. It saturated all my senses until I drowned in their darkness.

Then I breathed it. Whatever spiritual immune response I had kicked in. I was untethered. I saw the Truth. I was free. My practice became me and I, it. Then I saw the good of my military experience, and instead of running away from that, I integrated it into my daily life. I saw the good of my upbringing, that I was not a failure to my family Legacy, I was simply reorienting it towards a greater Truth and destroying the illusion.

So when my father, an avid End of Times Christian, started spouting prophecy that he was hearing from his media and congregation, I knew that America was cooked. Brains fried like eggs left on the griddle too long. 

For a long time I had zero clue what Israel really was. I saw it more as a "outpost of American Imperialism" rather than the core of the cesspool of evil in the world it has been expose of today. It was Mossad who threatened my mother in 2015 when I testified in front of the German Bundestag on the nature of the US military Drone program and Ramstein's involvement in war crimes. It was they who spent the money to harm my life, attacking me in various ways so that I would act erratically, not realizing that they were just making me better, stronger, more aware. 

I remember growing up and going to church when this man from Israel showed up and told us about the evils of the "Muslim world." He kept saying that he was a Jew who didn't believe in Christ, but he believed that Christians were their greatest allies in their fight against this evil. I distinctly remember my Great Grandfather, a Dr. of Theology, being irritated by the whole thing. He was "retired" so not the head preacher and not part of the Elders, but his word was sacred. He simply told me that, "people have believed Jesus was going to come back in their lives since the day he left. It would be foolish of me to expect that until the moment it happens." 

Today I can see his wisdom clearer than ever. I am no longer bound by any religion, though you can call what I practice as "Exorcism". I see the foolishness of trying to fulfill a prophecy found in a cave by a dead sea. I can see the danger that America faces once this war fails. I weep. 

I have never betrayed my oaths or my vows. Why would I want anything other than for the place of my birth to change her ways so that we can truly be a factor of good in the world rather than oppression. I would rather clean her up than let her die. But she has to get out of the pig shit that is Christian Nationalism and the Blasphemy of Zionism. 

This is not an observation about Iran's politics or capabilities, but how she will remembered if she survives or not. The world observes that Zionism is a Satanic Colonial plague, of which my Great Grandfather would say that "the Devil uses the Truth but one hair off." These people have subverted the idea of "God's Chosen people," exploited the very real heartsore of being exiled by your God for misbehaving, weaponizing it for evil. 

Christ would never be a nationalist. He preached about taking care of the heartbroken, the widows, and the orphans. To love our neighbors as ourselves, and to love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul. You do these two things you fulfill ever commandment of every scripture ever written.  There is no boundary for that. Real or imaginary. 

The reason Iran has won the war no matter the outcome, is because the actions which motivate the conflict on the side of the US are driven by greed hatred, not reality or truth. We have shamed ourselves on the world stage and we deserve the consequences. The United States must restrain itself or be restrained, and Israel as it stands needs to be disassembled, given back to the Palestinian people. 

Then we can stop spending outrageous amounts of money on imaginary bullshit, doing good work wither it was God's or simply from a good heart. 

It's a fucking Tuesday, not the end of the world. 

ending my own life

To whom it may concern, 

I realize that if you're reading this you may be having some emotions. Regardless of how you feel, it's too late to change anything.

I'm writing this blog post here because the only person who reads this is my stalker, and he will probably be glad that I have finally decided to take my own life and leave this miserable plane of existence, even if I have to bury my soul in the deepest hells, i will not stop until I obliterate my own soul. I do not want to be reincarnated. I do not want to exist. 

If you're reading this and you think you once loved me, I can tell you that no one in my life knows what love is. I wasn't loved. I was hated at worst, tolerated at best. In my darkest moments I was left alone and I'm my greatest need I was abandoned. Here I am as a grown man, and I've reached my end. 

Currently I live with two individuals who make me feel unwelcome and unsafe. I bought a large bus, hoping that I would be able to repair it and live alone somewhere away from everyone but I can't even find help to do that and I barely have enough money to live. I'm scrapping by the skin of my teeth. 

I sacrificed my heart and soul for nothing. People took my work and made money off of it and didn't pay me a thing due to "integrity". Leaving me destitute and with nothing. And me, thinking that what I was doing was somehow honorable and noble. Instead I'm an idiot ready to kill myself now out of shame and humiliation. 

If you're reading this, know that in the moment of my death I will curse this world and everyone in it and I will face God and beg him to burn my existence from the fabric of reality. There is no longer any love in my heart and my consciousness would rather end itself than hurt another.

The only thing I wish for you, reader, is to know that in the end, I was unloved. It doesn't matter what you do in this world, it matters not without love. 

May you have everything that you deserve.

A Sad Update

 To Whom It May Concern,

I hope this message finds you well. For myself, things have pretty much gotten as bad as they could be. I'm still being stalked by certain people and they have actively ruined my relationships. Since I do not have any support, I have had to fight these battles alone, and while I have mostly succeeded, I have failed in the most important way: My own personal relationships have fallen apart.

I'm mostly at fault, being that had I not put myself into certain positions I would not have had to place my trust in people that did not have my best interests in mind. Continuously I've given myself to others who have robbed me of my heart and taken advantage of my kindness. Unfortunately, I've held it in so long, that when my ex girlfriend of 3 years started exhibiting all the signs of being unfaithful to me all my inner demons took it as an opportunity to torment me. She says that she was faithful, but faithfulness means trust and she broke my trust pretty severely and then deflected accountability for her actions until I had to force her to apologize. She went behind my back and decided for me what was going to happen without even considering my feelings. 

Needless to say I made a complete mess of things, and she now hates me from the arms of another man. 

It's my own fault, really. I had hoped that her and I could start a family and find a place to live in peace while the world burned down. I relied on her support as much as I gave her and she couldn't even give me the respect to be there for me when I actually needed her. I was so used to doing things alone, that when I had decided to accept support it was taken from me the moment I leaned on it.

It's happened enough times that I can only find myself as the lowest common denominator. I blame social media, of things outside myself, and the lack of care people have for anything outside of their ego. In turn, I decided to burn most every bridge that I can. I'm worn out, burnt out, sick. I have stress induced cardiomyopathy, literally a broken heart. Though my heart is physically strong, the stress of whistleblowing and relationships have been too much my heart is failing. A year ago, I was holding on because love was easing me out of it, but then my ex was nearly hurt by somebody trying to hurt me, and I gave into fear, and fear led to my own destruction.

I'm not sure how much life I have left. Whenever people threaten me and I make noise, the trolls and stalkers go back into the deep shadows, and I eek by every day by trying to live simply. The stress of it all just caught up to me and I'm not strong enough to endure without support, and since I don't have support and am now completely alone in the first time in my life (no more dog), either the broken heart or the loneliness is going to kill me and I'm not sure that I don't deserve it even after I gave it my best.

If I hurt you in this life, if you think that I wronged you, I'm sorry. If I had the opportunity and I knew what I did I would have fixed it. My ignorance doesn't excuse anything. If you wronged me, I forgive you but I will not forget. You may live a blessed life outside of mine. 

I want this Chapter of my life to end. 

The Epilogue isn't a happy ending, unfortunately, and I wonder if that is only in fairy tales. 

On my marker let it read: He died alone, but he did his duty and was content.

I pray that in the world mercy and justice prevail.

Cheers,

Brandon W. Bryant
Staff Sergeant, USAF JSOC

200th Dragon Of the 3rd SOS

2015 Whistleblower of the Year

Founder of Project Red Hand (inactive)

Last of his line. 

There is no Justice, only Death

 Most likely I will be dead within the next six months. Rick Rynearson, and his gangbangers, have been harassing me with impunity for many years. It seems that they have realized that the law won't do anything to help me so they have upped their game. The city police and officials turn a blind eye. I have no one I can rely on or turn to.

My lawyer this morning told me that I'm a sitting duck at this point. He's convinced that there really is no such thing as Justice in America, and all the system is filled with are people who are trying to get away with bad things done to good people. No one will touch my case because I'm a government whistleblower, so addressing my case means addressing the issues that I bring up, which nearly everyone is involved with it seems. So in order to keep the machine running, it might be my blood that greases the wheels.

I used to see the cops as modern knights of the round table when I was a wee lad. Now I see them as nothing more than faceless thugs, enforcers of evil. I used to feel safe in my own home and now I can't even go anywhere outside my living space and feel safe. I have people watching and following everything I do so they can trip me up or catch me at fault, willing to twist my own words against me, then to lie, cheat, and steal to win at all costs. Since I refuse to play along, I will be murdered.

It's funny, comical, how evil our society obviously is. Straight out of a storybook, the corrupt willing to murder their own citizens in order to enjoy their ill gotten gains. After my journey and travels, I can for sure say that the true shining stars are few and far between. The people that just sit there and complain then do nothing are simply hypocrites, and they are usually the loudest voices to criticize those that try to do something. The fact that I can have done what I have done and gotten the response that I have proves that America is lost in Darkness. 

The fact that I have had people threaten my life because I have spoken about how horrible it is to take another life, that I have tried to show how horrible this whole mess is... My own government tried to backhandedly use my own service against me by calling me a mass murderer in their opening statement of my trial. The prosecution used Rynearson's idiot blog, word for word, as their only evidence. The local news purposely printed misleading information then refused to correct it telling us to get over it and move on. The local city council continues to misuse tax money for projects around the city using sub-par materials, and people who may not be qualified for the job, but simply knew the right person's hand to shake. 

I sit here praying that when I step outside it will not be the last time I see the Sun, alone, facing an uncertain future, surrounded by my enemies, and knowing that my own people, my own government, my own home town, would kill me at the first opportunity. 

Introduction to Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan

Back in 2018 I had a psychedelia trip that showed me the Tibetan Buddhist Dharma Protectors wandering in the Montana backwoods and a complete tour of the "Cycle of Birth and Death." The closest thing that I could account it to would be Dante's Divine Comedy, and my own personal place in line for the Cosmic Judgement. I was connected to my entire line of ancestors and descendants. 

It was humbling and empowering to say the least. I was told that my repentance was seen as sincere, and as long as I promised to sin no more, I would be set free. I read the story of Mila Repa. I read the Buddhist texts, some Zen, some Shinto. But truly I was led to the Taoist texts and the universe keeps... blatantly throwing it in my face. Not that I mind, I've found some old and significant writings that I love so much I've read over and over. 

One of them has been the Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan, as it perfectly depicts exactly what I saw and experienced to such a degree is all I have to do is read the text or even meditate on it and I'm back there. If I were to dig further on it's significance to me, I use it as a measure for people's character that I come across. I find it harsh but ultimately fair. 

Some of the punishments are silly and clever and puts some of Dante's to shame.

Thank you for your patience, here is the Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan as it was given to me.

***

On the birthday of the Savior, as the spirits of Purgatory were thronging round to offer their congratulations, the ruler of the Infernal Regions spake as follows:

"My wish is to release all souls, and every moon as this day comes round I would wholly or partially remit the punishment of erring shades and give them life once more in one of the Six Paths of Angels, Men, Demons, Hungry Ghosts, Brute Beasts, and Tortured Sinners. But alas! the wicked are many and the virtuous few. Nevertheless, the punishments in the dark region are too severe and require some modification. Any wicked soul that repents and induces one or two others to do likewise shall be allowed to set this off against the punishments which should be inflicted."

The Judges of the Ten Courts of Purgatory then agreed that all who led virtuous lives from their youth upwards shall be escorted at their death to the land of the Immortal; that all those whose balance of good and evil is exact  shall escape the bitterness of the Three States of the Hungry Ghosts, Brute Beasts, and Tortured Sinners, and be born again amongst Men; that those who have repaid their debts of gratitude and friendship, and fulfilled their destiny, yet have a balance of evil against them, shall pass through the various Courts of Purgatory and then be born again amongst Men, rich or poor, old or young, diseased or crippled, to be put a second time upon trial. Then, if they behave well, they may enter into some happy state; but if badly they will be dragged by horrid devils through all the Courts, suffering bitterly as they go, and will again be born, to endure in life the uttermost in poverty and wretchedness, in death the everlasting tortures in Hell.

Those who are disloyal, unfilial, who commit suicide, take life indiscriminately, or disbelieve the Doctrine of Cause and Effect, saying to themselves that when a man dies there is an end to him, that when he has lost his skin he has already suffered the worst that can befall him, that living men can be tortured but no one ever saw a man's ghost in the pillory, that after Death all is unknown, etc-- truly these men do not know that the body alone perishes but the Soul lives forever and ever; and that whatsoever evil they in in life, the same will be done unto them in the life to come.

All who commit such crimes are handed over to the everlasting tortures of Hell; for alas! in spite of the teachings of the Three Systems, some will persist in regarding these warnings as vain and empty talk. Lightly they speak of Divine mercy and knowingly commit many crimes, not more than one in a hundred ever coming to repentance. Therefore the punishments of Purgatory were strictly carried out and the tortures dreadfully severe.

But now it has been ordained that any man or woman, young or old, weak or strong, who may have sinned in any way, shall be permitted to obtain remission of the same by keeping his or her thoughts constantly on the Savior and on the birthdays of the Judges of the Ten Courts, by fasting and prayer, and by vows never to sin again. Or for every good work in life they shall be allowed to escape one ward in the Courts below.

From this rule to be excepted: Disloyal ministers, unfilial sons, suicides, those who plot in secret against good people, those who are struck by lightning, those who perish in flood or fire, by wild animals, or poisonous reptiles -- there to pass through all the Courts and be punished according to their deserts. All other sinners to be allowed to claim their good works as a set-off against evil, thus partially escaping the agonies of Hell and receiving some reward for their virtuous acts.

This account of man's wickedness on the earth and the punishments in store for him was written in language intelligible to every man and woman, and was submitted for the approval of the Savior, the intention being to wait the return of some virtuous soul among the sons of men and by these means publish it all over the earth. When the Savior saw what had been done, he said it was good; and on the 3rd of the 8th moon proceeded with the ten Judges of Purgatory to lay this book before God.

Then God said, "Good indeed! Good indeed! Henceforth let all spirits take note of any mortal who vows to lead a virtuous life and, repenting, promises to sin no more. Two punishments shall be remitted him. And if in addition to this he succeed in doing five virtuous acts, then he shall escape all punishment and be born again in some happy state. But more than five virtuous acts shall enable such a soul to obtain the salvation of others and redeem partner and family from the tortures of Hell. Let these regulations be published in the Divine Panorama and circulated on earth by the power of the City Guardians. In fear and trembling obey this decree and carry it reverently into effect."

Moral Injury

I feel that the longer that I live and understand the horrors of the modern world, the deeper my heart wound gets. 

When I started this journey, it truly was one of repentance and belief in a "if we could just see the error of our ways" ideology. In my youth I was taught about Man's "Fall from Grace", Biblically, but to me that was just a story. Maybe growing up in Missoula, isolated mostly from the outside world, prevented me from seeing the state of mankind. I even went into the military being told that we were fighting against "God's enemies."

I had no understanding of anything. I still don't, but I really didn't back then. I attribute my personal success from a combination of innocence and stupidity. Innocent of anterior motives, and stupid enough to believe that there might be some inherent goodness in man. I criticize myself harshly, but, I did follow Biblical instruction and it led me... here.

I see emptiness all around. I find my own countrymen, my own neighbors, have threatened my very life. My local police and government have already put me in danger multiple times, and the funny thing about this whole affair, is that NEVER ONCE EVER SINCE I killed for the military industrial complex have I ever wanted or declared to ever want to again, feel that stain on my soul. 

That seems to be threatening to people. And when I call for final accountability of my government officials who not only continue to fraudulently waste taxpayer money on frivolous bullshit, have given themselves a $9 hour raise in a time of crisis. It's been 2 years since I called it out. Since I learned the character of the people of my hometown. The Jury was excellent, but the people of Missoula, the people I called friend? Failed me. There just is no other words, and they continue to do so. 

I think it is in poor judgement that people on social media keep "referring me" to mental health. I spent years in therapy, and I traveled to do plant medicine. My mental, spiritual, and emotional health are the best they've been. My anger does not stem from any sort of madness. It comes because I have a wounded heart, and instead of comfort and care from not only my community but my own country, I was ostracized and outcaste.

I stained my soul in the name of "freedom and democracy," and in return I got a fat disgraced Major who thinks that he can make a name for himself by calling me a liar and getting people to threaten my life. In return all I can see is everything in our society covered in blood. When I smell oil, I also smell the burn pits in Iraq. When I see the state of the State, and that we have truly been misled, I feel sickness deep within that I gave up my purity for that. For the People of my Country to shit on me, turn their backs on me, and for our political and business leaders to continue to destroy everything that I was told I gave my heart and soul and mind and body for. 

To know that whenever I reach out to anyone for help, I'm being monitored, tracked, and interfered with. That no government agency will interact with me out of respect for my "differences" aka whistleblowing, with the government. I mean, the reason I blew the whistle in the first place was because rules were not being followed, and I've been verified about that on every media outlet in the world as well as 32 Academic, peer-reviewed, publications to date. All I want is for shit to work, and to feel whole again. Is that too much to ask?

Can you not see my hurt at what it is that we have done and become? I see myself as no different than those that I criticize, because I was in it myself. I started off in basic training as the Midnight guard and toilet cleaner. I was the lowest of us all, before you all thought I was less than nothing. 

I didn't do anything I did for fame, fortune, adventure. It has not been a pleasant journey, though I have had several pleasant moments. I finally am at peace with myself. I no longer hate myself. But I still think that our modern society is the vile stain of Babylon's leftovers. I still think that nothing that I have done has any real significance. Nothing really changed, people just accepted it. The people that listened to what I had to say only used it to verify their own beliefs, without ever caring about me as a person. I was told that everyone sees me as a murderer who walks free, and it's hard to be friends with a murderer. 

There is a saying in Africa, "The speaker of Truth has no friends." I think my grandfather tried to prepare me for it. It's Biblical even. "A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country and own hometown." I don't consider myself anything but I do know the sin that will drown America in its own karma is happening right now, and in this moment I'm telling you"

Repent, for the End is upon us. Not in any Apocalyptic sense, but in that we don't know when that will be, the signs of the times seem dire indeed. I fear that our poisoning of the planet has gone beyond the point of no return. If we have to face a judgement in the afterlife, let it be knowing we did our best, even with our wounded hearts. 

Coming up next, The Yu Li Ch'ao Chuan, or Divine Panorama.

Oh, How I Weep for Thee.

I find humanity unbearable nowadays.

There are quite a few people upset about MY words. I see this as funny, because while they are harsh words, they pale in comparison to the actions that they are inviting you to witness. I've been banned on every social media platform because of it. 

I was banned on Twitter for pointing out that Kongsberg, Norway was using war refugees in their factories that are creating weapon parts that are used in the weapons resulting in the refugees in the first place. The response that I got was "war is profitable and it gives them a better life." A) war is not profitable. Taking from the bottom to give to the top, is an all-in-all-out decrease. Temporarily a few might benefit, but really everyone ends up suffering in the long run. 

I was banned on Instagram for posting my artwork, and somebody kept reporting me for inappropriate content. I got banned on Facebook for my International Whistleblowing in the use of Targeted drone killing in the Middle East. But this next one really takes the cake for me.

I was banned on Reddit because somebody in my home subreddit reported me for "hate towards a minority group" when talking about how all pedophiles should face the death sentence, because I was violated by one in my church when I was going into the second grade, and when I told an adult, they covered it up and they made me fear hell because I was "gay." I next followed it up with how I ran into two actual pedos trying to sell off some kids that I ran into back in 2018ish. I was at the local trampoline park, and a little girl tried to get me to go play in a corner with her, and I asked where her parents were, she pointed me to an overweight bearded man. I went over to the woman I was on a date with, and pointed him out but he saw and ran. We reported it to the police and heard nothing further until a few weeks ago when it was reported that a pedo ring was broken up. There is a Missoulian article about it.

But the City tried to cover up the identities, the only way we found out who they were was by looking at the booking records. Pointing all this out, got me perma-banned from Reddit. However, I went up the chain of command and they're now looking into who reported me, because I also keep getting reported when I talk about the local corruption in my City Council, and the bullshit things that are going in full view of everyone. 

We have police that kill their own to protect wicked men. We have politicians that sell out their local populous for the almighty dollar. We have greedy landlords, gluttonous businessmen, false preachers, and a society that feeds off blood and violence.... We have no Pillars of Society. We have no Wise People leading us into the future. Evil-doers arise, none try to subdue them. The people are in misery, no one relieves them. Clerks are corrupt, no one restrains them. Laws decay, no one renews them. Our officials glut themselves off of the welfare of the State and know no shame. They build themselves fine houses, ride fancy vehicles, drink themselves stupid then have the taxes pay for their recovery, and eat the best foods available. Which of them do anything more than put on the illusion of a dignified mien? All gold and gems without, dry husks within. 

Yet these people are not even at once concerned about these things but they are very particular about my words.

In The Darkness, Only A Snake Knows His Own Feet

Let me tell you what's up. 

I won. and I failed. 

Life sure has changed in the Pandemic Era. Let's not kid ourselves, we are still full up in this business. It will probably be a long bit before we recover from the Idiocy of Ego, the Siberian Saga, alongside NATO Neo-Colonial Greed, How to Collapse Your Own Civilization for Money. 

As for my personal life, regardless of how many Academic articles reference me (so far 30+), and whatnot related to Whistleblowing, it is an absolute crunk of a failure. I wish I could find the words to describe my supreme disappointment at everything. In the last 2 years, I have had 3 men try to take my life from me, one of them a 3rd time Felony Offender, all let go without charge. Every day that I would take my dog for a walk I would be followed, by several people, and I felt like I would be jumped at any moment because my actions have become an inconvenience to those who would do business in darkness. 

All I've ever done is try to do the right thing. I never hurt anybody, I never did more than express my hurt and anger over how I've been treated, and it's only given me further mistreatment. 

"We've all moved on." I've been told several times. No, You've left me behind because you got what you wanted. I sacrificed my mind, body, heart, and soul to do the right thing and was just left broken and alone. I feel like the prodigal son, but without anywhere to go to as I have no father, and I have been disowned by my Christian relatives. 

The worst part is, I only acted as I did because I was taught to follow my heart and do the right thing via Christianity, and I am pariah everywhere I go in my own home town, and mistreated by those I once called loved ones. I was told that America stood for "Liberty and Justice for All," and all I see everywhere is Patriot Christians going against everything that Christ and supposedly what the Constitution and Bill of Rights were written to represent.

Somebody once asked me if they could still be Christian and an Anarchist, and my response was, "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's, give unto God what is Gods." He didn't like it so I tried to expand it like this. I said that only you can define what you believe is God's and what is a king's. If you don't believe that anything belongs to man, then everything simply belongs to God.

I believe god is everything. The One. When I was younger I used to feel connected to it. I couldn't tell you what it was, exactly, but I felt whole, once. My service to the military severed my connection to it, and ever since then I've felt only loss and grief. I've taken Psychedelics, by myself and with authentic shamans, and its only made the wounds more clearly defined. They were not the cure I thought they would be. I classify them as medicine, but they can only take you so far, the rest is up to you. And as far as I've discovered, once the connection has been severed, it's like you're a living deadman, and there is no way to reconnect. 

At least that's what I've been told. 

While I am living in the Sphere of God's influence, I still feel lost and alone. My little boy heart can't take it.

I'm not eager to die, but I have no will to live anymore. I have no close friends, no family, no loved ones. My dog is sick and dying. He was the only thing that I ever really cared about in my lifetime, and I sacrificed my time and life with him to do the Whistleblower bullshit. And, if I can be Frank, I regret it all because I believed in the greatness of mankind and all I've seen is wretched garbage. The way I've been treated has been horrendous. The last 10 years have been Hell on Earth, for me. I swear the world ended in 2012. 

At least the one thing that Psychedellics have for sure told me is that taking my own life is no escape from this place, so I might as well wait it out. The best "training" I ever got from the Military was the ability to wait forever for shit to go down and to "nap as needed". The only reason I survived was because of the Power Nap. It should be it's own AFSC.

That's the last joke I have for you.

I'll leave you with this, if you ever came across me and treated me with good intentions and a pure heart, I wish you only blessings in this lifetime. If you ever came to me with ulterior motives, may you fall from your own deceptions so that everyone can see. 

May the spirit of Brandon Wayne Bryant, Rest In Peace, because now I am nobody and filled only with sorrow. If we meet on the street, we are strangers, I care not for anything this world has to give.

The Story Thus Far...

 I joined the USA Military Branch of the Air Force overconfident and underzealous. In trying to stay away from participating in direct action in war, I found myself strangely directly observing the battlefield live from the safety of a Top Secret Compartmentalized department safely tucked away in Sin City itself. The Devil already controlled the sand that blew in that desolate place, and the wickedness of War was played at like a game of chance. Generals betting the lives of men and ending those who would stand in their way with the whisper of a command and the push of a button. 

The Ending was not peace but greed, which could have no end. Where I had once trusted that we were on the side of good, I witnessed the kind of inferior man that seeks power because he was once made powerless, made decisions of life and death then congratulate themselves for winning a "War on Terror" while being terrible themselves. For everything that we do to our "enemy" so shall be done to us in equal measure if finishing the conflict is not the intended goal. 

I was a part of that. I killed, but had I any control of the situation I would not have. I witnessed countless other atrocities done, and the good ol' boys club that ran it. It was my faith that had sustained me, my previous understanding that I must bear witness to the things that have been done, none greater than my own misdeeds. The drama that happened at my expense had me separated from my peers, for a shame that was unknown to me. I was punished for things that I didn't do, and I was punished for things that I fixed immediately with no harm done. I was punished for other people's perceptions of who they thought that I was. 

But I am my Grandfather's protege, above all else I will honor his teachings, in the face of all the hurt that I've been given. When I first started speaking about my experiences, I didn't realize that my name would be released, and I had intended to kill myself after the publication, in the traditional style of sepukku, the only way that I could think of restoring my honor after everything else. The only reason I didn't was because of what was said about me in forums by people that I knew. People that I had once stood up for, people that I had once called brother and sister, people who knew that what I was saying was true. 

I never broke any promise that I made. I never didn't give my genuine self because I recognized that the shit that I was in we all were in and there were people that were getting away with fraud, waste, and abuse of government resources simply because they could spend the money and get more every year. We had the same people over and over and over, fly the same shifts over and over and over again. Leadership only flew to maintain currency and to get flight pay. Flight Pay for not flying. 

I never got flight pay, yet when I left I had the most flight Hours in the 3rd SoS by almost 2500. All thanks to my being "punished" for trying to actually be nice to a girl who broke my heart. I know what she said about me, after I gave her a choice of me or somebody else in the squadron that confessed feelings for her. I had asked my grandfather what to do and he said to just be kind to her, and be her friend and support her. I did until she fooled around with my Best Friend at the time, and then my roommate, and then some other guy. I tried to make peace in front of people and also in private. I was harassed by some dipshit on fucking MySpace, who somehow also started sending weird shit to everyone else in my squadron and it was blamed on me by the first sergeant. 

From there I just stayed to my video games. World of WarCraft saved my life. Being able to overwrite my nightmares of infrared ghosts with Orcs and Elves and monsters of all kind. Then I got hacked, by one of my guildies I think, and my account banned because he was doing shady shit with an alt that I never logged into. I lost a lot on that account, but I moved on, instead of turning to faith that had been left in ruin, I turned to the focus and discipline of mastering my own body. I knew that I also didn't want to turn away from the military as what I saw a failure of an experience. I couldn't go home with this shame in my heart. 

All General Wurster had to do was sign my release from the Drone Program, so that I could go into SERE. All the 3rd SOS Dragons had to do was let their prized oxen that I had become, let me go work on rebuilding my honor and respect, after the bullshit that I had to deal with. I ran burnt myself out for ungrateful and miserable human beings. If I ever end up before "god" I will testify myself of it. I don't care what messiah they believe in, their actions have earned them a special place in Hell.  I only hope they live a long life knowing what awaits them. 

My actions of "whistleblowing" comes from the idea of a player or Referee calling a time-out. According to even Sun Tzu's the Art of War, we have lost this conflict, and it wasn't because we didn't have overwhelming force, but it was because we were misled on the Moral Law that governs conflict. I remember one pilot I flew with explaining to me that the Laws of Armed Conflict and the Rules of Engagement are not for our enemies who will most assuredly break them, but to show everyone that we are abiding by these boundaries. 

That's what kills me about Rynearson. By all rights, we should be allies. If his story of refusing an order is true, then he did the right thing by understanding his power in that moment. I was an Airman First Class. I was so fucking low on the totem pole to be nothing more than the warm body that sat in the seat to fulfill one basic function of assisting the pilot. I was so unimportant, that it's incredibly ironic that some people view me as such. 

My adventure that came about because of it is both terrifying and humbling. I reacquainted myself with the spirituality of the universe, and found a peace despite my incredible heartache. I broke everything of myself to escape the chains of murdering for evil men, because what is what I have done anything but? Sun Tzu says that War is evil, but if you must carrying it out here is how you should do it. But this is beyond even that evil, the waste of American resources with no ending in sight. The destruction of our fellow human beings for the sake of profit. 

While this is going on OCONUS, the CONUS side of things has been infiltrated by thugs and gangsters. In my own home town, taxes have skyrocketed, as Mayor John Engen plays the best Sheriff of Nottingham with the Missoula City Council. Willing to give away 17 Million dollars in tax money to a man whose father got rich by selling faulty medical equipment and then being ran out of his own state while running for congress, a man who is not even from here and already has the money. The project would have been under his "management" for 70 years, then it would be paid off and go back to the people of Missoula. That would be 70 years of future tax money taken. That would be our children's chrildren's children's children. Four generations in the future would be paying a Greedy Aristocrat for something that was admittedly never going to make money. My Great Grandparent's and other family members sold their homes because no one could afford to pay the taxes already in place. We were the Creme de la middle class. 

We went to Church twice a week, Sunday dinner was for everyone that could make it. For 3 generations before me, my family invested and gave to the community through service and teaching. Now where are they? Gone because they can't afford to live in a place that has sustained them since the 1970s. 

When I expressed the anger that I felt towards the city counsel, it was because I saw the same fraud, waste, and abuse that I witnessed in the military, but in my own home. The city counsel didn't care about it's community, just about the money pot that they thought they could take from because they didn't suffer the consequences of their actions, and their place in the city counsel seems more like a popularity contest than one of competence. 

When I pointed out their fallacies, they went to the internet to try to find something to "ruin" me. So I killed two birds with 1 stone. They took Rynearson's bait, and now they both have to answer for what they've done by putting me in danger and trying to ruin my life.

When I realized that the people of the USA wouldn't ever listen to what I had to say, that the biblical addum, "a prophet has no honor in his own country," applied to those of us that spoke the truth, I also knew that I would never escape this pain in my heart. I never thought that my own hometown would be the same. I think I may have had too high of an expectation from the people here. A River Runs Through It colored my perception. My own sense of home connecting me deeper to God than any book. It was here that my Grandfather taught me about God, and that the fruits that we bear are the ones that will tell us who we are. The garden of my heart had been burnt to the ground and the earth salted beneath my feet. I was unsure of any fruit that I could bear. I just knew that I couldn't let them get away with hurting my own community any more. 

Fie to you who think that I would lower myself to harm another again after what I was made to do. I never wish anyone harm, just for them to suffer the consequences of their actions in a way that get's them to see exactly what they have done. If God says that vengeance is his, then it is mine to live and not to do the things that I know would lead me down the path of darkness so deep that no light could ever reach me. 

What I expect from my government is this: professional discipline and actual corruption removal. Admitting one is wrong doesn't hurt one's reputation, it helps you evolve and not make the same mistake over and over. The US Government must admit that it has wronged it's own citizens, and that is the only way that it will become Great. The US Military must refuse to be used by greedy corporations and must finish the conflict, even if retreat is used. We must fix the things here at home before they destroy us in front of the whole world. We must address the greed and corruption from top to bottom, and we must hold those accountable for the actions that they've done. 

If there is true justice in this world, it will be done without conflict and in the light of truth. 

To my enemies, may you live forever with the full knowledge of what you've done. To my allies, may you find your Way and help as many as you are able. I will continue the path that have been on since I could walk and mend my own spirit. I have no care for anyone's opinion or manipulation. There has been nothing that I have done but to do everything I can to fix my own heart.

Right now my life is in danger by my own government. There really is evil in the world and it is not done by gods or devils but by man himself to himself. Once we realize that we will be free of gods and devils and be able to choose our own fate. I pray that the one we choose doesn't lead us to our own destruction. 

So far I've been nothing but disappointed with people. Maybe 2020 has shown them how to fight for themselves and the importance of it. Maybe we'll clean up the garbage in our society. First it has to start with us.

(OPEN LETTER) JUDGE SHANE VANETTA

To the First US Judge to Preside over my case, 

Your Honor,

I had this long story written down in my usual diatribe of poetic waxing an waning... but I had a revelation that hit me the other day that put me at ease with everything and I only want to say one thing.

I am extremely privileged  to bring this issue before you. I had once gone up the chain of command in my squadron (twice, actually) and gone up the chain of command outside my squadron. I couldn't find anyone to hold themselves accountable internally, so I went to somebody who would externally. Both dismissed me as being "a young airman who didn't know his place." We've all seen me go up the Civilian international Chain of Command, to being invited to witness and say something to the UN Security council. I did my best to try to remind us who we were. Or who I thought we were.

Now we are Judiciously involved with not only a legal issue but a Constitutional issue as well. If you couldn't tell, I've been sorely disappointed with the way that our society has been constructed, and believe that my participation in the United States Military War Machine has given me due right to make that voice heard. I have seen enough fraud, waste, and abuse of military resources, I couldn't bear being witness and helpless as I saw it again in my own community, where my own people's lives were at stake.

I am not here to wage a war against my own people. I am here for justice, and into your hands I commend the spirit to guide you. May you be the last stop on my upward slope to find what I need. In the end, I can only go up.

Respectfully,

Brandon W. Bryant

A Life, Mythological

 The stories and myths of the world have been my soul's lifeblood ever since I could read "Green Eggs & Ham" by Dr. Seuss on my own. I probably read that one a thousand times. I think of it often when I come upon things that I do not want to do or that I do not like. Of maybe all the stories I've read, I have a deeper connection to this one than my Bible. 

When I first started speaking out against drones and their modern uses in warfare, it wasn't to be a hero, a martyr, famous or infamous, or even for popularity. I knew that there would be some opposition, but nothing of the sort that I'd encountered. I didn't think that human beings were as horrible as I've since seen first hand. 

Another mythology that I feel describes my situation is one where a man is cursed to toil forever in a field unless he tricks somebody to take over for him. Everyone and their mother knew that when I left the Drone program, that it was with a bitter heart and zero satisfaction with the mission or the job. Everyone knew that even if I was dissatisfied, that I still treated people with respect due to their rank, if not their person. Everyone knew that I worked harder than anyone else, to the point of collapse and burnout. 

My brothers and sisters knew that I loved them like no other because we were in the same bullshit together. 

Or I thought they did.

One of my biggest faults, I understand, is that I trust people to always want to strive for what is right and good. I've made a lot of poor choices for friends and associates, mainly because I remember being told "that's what Jesus would do," growing up. It's not the healthy that need a doctor, he would say. But even though I had the finest spiritual guidance in the persons of my Great Grandfather and my Mother, I was still an idiot.

I think that since the military used my own faith as a weapon against my spirit to get me to kill and accept it for God's Will, I lost my trust in anything that anyone could say to me as true. I've had to hold so many people to account of their word versus their actions that have failed to do the right thing, that I'm unsure of even how to proceed with my own life at this point. 

My Stalker, Rick Rynearson, has purposely put my own life in danger, multiple times, with his tabloid and extremist behavior, that I am not safe in my own hometown anymore. For a creature who claims to be a Law Abiding Citizen, against Police Abuse, and for Justice, he sure played me into their hands in a gross violation of anything Lawful, Peaceful, or Just. He once tried to set me up to get arrested at some convention, but I'm lucky he's an alcoholic and an ego driven idiot. I had once thought that his lame attempts to label me as some sort of Death Cult leader was hilarious, as if that was the best that the opposition could come up with to use against me when I've given them plenty of other things to use, then I had nothing to worry about. Every time I spoke to Ratnearson, he was drunk, it was because of that I knew I could never trust him.

Soon afterwards, the threats against my person rose nearly 10x. . Ranger Veterans in my own home town, who wrestled for my grandfather, threatened my very life and made me swear on the life of my Grandfather. I had underestimated the one thing that I should not have: The stupidity of the Average man. 

In a world of access to too much information, I had thought that we would be better at discerning what was real and what was not. I had believed that the deep abiding curiosity for the mysteries of life were shared by everyone of my generation. I had believe that we were not going to repeat the mistakes of the past. 

However, that is not the case, as it seems that Humanity as a whole has a few more lessons that it needs to learn before it can get it's shit together. It seems that the failure to respond and lead in a crisis has spread from the top down, to where even my own local city council would rather give $17 million dollars to a local millionaire for the building of his entertainment empire than spend that money on keeping the citizens of that same community fed, clothed, and safe during a global pandemic. 

So I guess that I shouldn't be surprised that where the United States of America is at. It's there because it's full of sin and corruption on the deepest levels, and as that corruption comes to light, I hope that the people see it for what it is. 

My Great Grandfather spent a lot of time having me recite my favorite Bible verses, and I spent a lot of time on my own memorizing and reciting the things my favorite authors wrote, and the wisdom of all religions. I can definitely, for sure, 100% say that what the United States has done in at least the last 20 year is violate everything sacred. I can also say that nothing that I have said is new or original, it's been said by thousands before me and it will be said by thousands after me. I am no prophet, my birth was not an auspicious occasion, I do not seek to be popular, or wealthy, or even anyone's friend. I only seek to tell you the truth like it should be, regardless of the cost or consequences. 

If I've learned anything in my readings it is at least that.

What I had really been searching for was a man of caliber and authority that could pick up this unlucky burden that I, a lowly Staff Sergeant, had been loaded with. A mentor who could guide me through the sea of sorrow and grief and helplessness and rage that sought to drown me in it's ever present hurricane. What I wanted is to just do the right thing, to be on the side of good.

I've shared many things seeking that solidarity with others but mankind is too blinded by the cellphones that they hold glued to their faces. I've had people tell me that they "don't support me" for one reason or another, when that's simply ego. I've been wronged by so many people, on so many levels. I've done nothing but right, been punished for the inadequacy of others and for things I've never done, things other's accuse me of. I've every right to be angry and upset. 

I've had my life threatened by a knife thrown at my head, the man intended to kill me, and he was released from jail with a Felony assault charge for 1/10th of mine, for yelling at city council. I have police stalk me every time I take my dog for a walk, and members of the local Crips along my path lying in ambush, waiting for a moment to strike. The individuals who convinced me to stand up to the City Council have abandoned me after I told them to take the pandemic seriously, and I found out that their idea of friendship was as fragile as their minds. 

Like I said before, Ratnearson, if any harm comes to me or anyone I love, I am placing the entire blame upon your head and I will bring this before the entire world and finally get justice. It is no longer a game, and I will place you on the "witness stand" so you can lie under oath and show everyone what a pathetic little ankle you are. 

I served my country loyally and faithfully and was betrayed. I brought serious and deadly issues before the whole world and was betrayed. I was betrayed by my own community, and I will be betrayed by my own Justice system, they've already shown us that they will not listen to reason or abide by the truth. I have to do nothing, because the only thing I'm guilty of is murder for the USA Military Industrial Complex. My punishment will only be a cursed stain upon the already soiled soul of the USA. 

That is not a myth, that is real.  And one day it will be Legend.

A Dance with Heartache

 I hope that in whatever voice you've been reading my works in that you come from a place of anguish and grief. The state of the world has been in flux for almost 20 years now, in our faces, and there is no longer any place to run. I've learned a lot in my short lifetime, and the more that I learn the heavier my heart grows. When I was younger I had the religion of the American Christian Church to guide me, but I've yet to meet any man as wise and compassionate as my Great Grandfather, and what it has transformed into today is an absolute abomination. 

I don't say this to discount any wisdom that is spared in their holy book. What has guided me through these last 15 years has been the books of Proverbs and Psalms, of which I would read through every month. One Proverb and 5 Psalms a day. And to escape the grisly reality of my work I would distract myself with World of Warcraft. It was the only way that I could override the nightmares. 

In a sense one could say I was addicted to escapism. I wanted to love myself and what I had done, but my peers were very immature and I had no one to commiserate my grief to. When I left the 3rd Special Operations Squadron, I had thought that I was going mad, and I was very angry about it. I gave them my very best and they squeezed me dry like a sponge. Never once, above my flight Officer leadership, did I ever encounter a man of integrity. 

Oh wait, I flew with LT. COL. DJ Turner of Operation Anaconda Fame. If you'd excuse me, sir, I'd like to tell this story now. I'm unsure if you remember it, but like every thing that I have been told that I consider wisdom I wrote on my heart, and I can now tell you that I understand what you were saying to me. You, I considered my Captain Jean Luc Piccard, and I pray you forgive me for taking your message to the extreme. 

See, reader, LT. COL. DJ Turner was a man who disobeyed a direct order to save the lives of men on the ground. I met one of them at a VA In-patient clinic, a man who had been a part of that team. It is for these men that I do what I do, done what I have done. These men showed me what honor and integrity were. These men are those that I consider true heroes. 

Captain Turner, I believe his rank was at the time, was an AC-130 pilot who placed his ship on the line so that a ground team could get out at a place now christened, Robert's Ridge. The rest of his crew got the Air Force Cross, while he got a reprimand. I won't go into the details, but one day I was sitting at the Mission Computer at the Nellis Predator Operations Center, building a mission when he sat down next to me and asked me how I was doing. I was admitted that I was tired and stressed, and that I'm unsure of why people were treating me poorly. He told me the story of Robert's Ridge from his point of view and finished with this, "Whatever it is that you do, make sure that it is the right thing, because there are a lot of people that will push you to do the wrong." He stood up, patted my shoulder, and left me to ponder that. 

I wonder what it is that he had been told about me that prompted him to say these things. I wonder a lot of things, namely why is it that people in my life keep trying to hurt me. I've done nothing but what I had been trained and instructed to do. Those that want to punish me, what's worse: the mistake, the covering up of the mistake, or the revealing of the mistake? I also wonder where are those people that hold themselves to that standard as now COL. (Ret) DJ Turner had. 

I can for sure say that it isn't a man like Ratnearson, whose wife is a Lawyer for Raytheon, the component of the military industrial complex that had the main contract for Drones when I was in the service. See, I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what his beef with me is. Because it for sure ain't for disobeying a superior officer. As far as I could tell from the surface, we should have been best buddies. 

It wasn't until I did a background check on his wife that I uncovered the very thing that I needed. When that came across my view, all my struggle with him ceased. I was free, because his machinations were not motivated by a sense of honor, but simply another lump of shit spewed out by the Military Industrial Complex. 

But then his tabloid idiocy was used by my own city council to try to shut me up by throwing me in jail. They set the bail for $100,000, and my poor mother had to put up her retirement to get me out right before the covid wave hit the prison system. Now my life is threatened every day by local police forces, angry patriots, and even just idiots who want to be mad at something. I also apparently have the Crips and JSOC personnel wanting my life. 

Is my country, my home, overran by mafia? Why are we allowing our planet to be destroyed by profit? Why are we allowing people to destroy communities in our own neighborhoods for profit? Why does my own State need to fabricate charges against me? In order to shut me up? Then I'm just going to be louder and I have another platform to speak upon. 

So I'd like to thank everyone who has ever broken my heart, to include my diseased rat of a pest stalker. I'm just going to stand my ground, and let you prove to the world how despicable you really are. Upon this ground, I will dance.

The Seed of Hatred

 I must start this piece off that I'm writing this here, on a webpage that gets promoted by a guy who is unusually obsessed with me, shadowblocked by the government from any searches, and generally ignored by humanity, because my life is in danger by members of my own community and hometown. Wealthy members of my community have sought to ruin my reputation, throw me in jail, and make attempts on my life. The police circle me like vultures watching my every movement, waiting to pounce should I relax my self vigilance even a smidge. My city council is selling out my town to the highest bidder and forcing long time residents out. I am also sure that my very State has been corrupted and is seeking to prevent me from speaking out against the atrocities that I have witnessed.

But what everyone forgets is that I paid for my voice with blood, and that it is the very people that have sent me to war to murder for them that keep interfering with my personal life. My home newspaper is bought by the corporation. Social media is an algorithmic joke. And it seems that the members of my community that pushed me to speak out against the injustices we see are too weak to see the job through. I was their sacrificial lamb so that they could get vengeance against Nick Checota, a Wisconsinite douchebag who thinks that Missoula should be some giant music venue. His father was a huge fraud, selling faulty medical equipment and then being run out after a failed political venture. 

I come home to people playing games with taxes and everyone's money, stealing from future generations so they could have their bourgeoisie paradise. My country has failed me. It has failed the veteran community. It has failed the military members by violating their trust. 

Let's get this straight. I do not believe that most humans are inherently evil. I see that most are trapped between a rock and a hard place, a place worse than any slavery named thus far. We're forced to give our time and energy to conglomerates that would throw us away at the first sign of malfunction. We are forced to pay a middleman for our healthcare and forfeit the power to take care of ourselves. They tell us that anything like socializing or communing are evil, through social media and ritual communion. 

The United States has been infected by a thing worse than evil and that is stupidity.

Rick Rynearson, if anything should happen to my life or those that I love, I am placing the responsibility upon you for your false witnessing. Should anything happen in this lifetime I will see you before God in the next and be your accuser. May you have a long life to dwell on this, and may He have mercy on your soul.

I need not do anything to anyone. Karma will have the last say in it all. I will be in my heart.

***

This Story is about he 15th Reconnaissance Squadron Cotton Pickers, and certain members of her Good Ol' Boys club. If I have to get my Justice with them, I will have it within the annals of history, and I will make sure that they are cursed by my words for the rest of time. Let us begin.

***

I arrived in Las Vegas, Nevada 06 April, 2006. I was originally supposed to go to Beal, AFB in Northern California, but just by chance I was "chosen"... then the entire next 4 Classes were "chosen" as well. Though I didn't get that until later.

I was brought to my room by a black man with a thick mustache, fine leather jacket, and calmest but alert personality that I'd ever met. He was of the Tech Sergeant persuasion, and he gave me clear instructions to be at the bus stop at 0300 to learn the basics of squadron care and to be ready for the indoctrination brief at 0700 in the 11th RS Theater. I asked what it is that I would be tasked to do, and he told me that I'd be issued some flight suits, flight boots, and I'd learn exactly what the job would be. 

I had no idea that I would be flying drones. 

Michael Haas was a buddy of mine that I met in Technical School down at Goodfellow, AFB. I had gotten the callsign "Church" in basic Training. The big online video game at the time was Xbox's Halo. There was an online series called Red Versus Blue, which satirized the Military life through one of Halo's online player versus player maps. One of the main characters was named "Church" as well, and had terrible luck throughout the series. Between us it was an inside joke that he was "Caboose", Church's mentally struggling friend. We both were "picked" for the USA Drone Program though we had no idea. 

We met up with our friend B-Doff (nickname), and made our way to the theater not knowing what it was that we were about to see. Doff was a Metallica fan and started teaching himself guitar. Queue his excitement when Metallica's "One" starts playing before a series of bomb drops explode in force right in front of our eyes. Here is my TedX talk about it

I never talked to Doff about it, but Haas and I did not like what we were seeing. We both came from Christian backgrounds and both of us knew exactly what God and Jesus would have to say about what we just witnessed. We were told that our job was to "kill people and break things." We both decided to go to the commander to see if we could do something else. 

LT. COL. Gear was a pungent smear of a man. One could tell by looking at him that he had the soul of a thing that wished it was a snake. He had tasted the blood of men and loved it. When I went into his office to give him an honest display of my unease of the whole thing, he mocked me, threatened me with dereliction of duty, and a dishonorable discharge from service, which is considered worse than being a convicted felon in the United States. He must have seen the fury on my face for being trapped in the corner and he gutted me with this: "Are you a coward, Bryant?" "No," I replied. "You swore an oath to defend the Constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. Get out there and do your fucking job. Dismissed."

Of the handful of us that went to talk to the commander, only 2 stuck to their guns. I wish that I could remember their names, but I will always remember their actions. I believe that display of disobedience to the vileness that they saw is one of the most honorable things that I could have witnessed. They were mocked and degraded in front of the whole squadron and set to paperwork for the rest of their commitments. No tears were shed, they took it with pride. I know they had in their hearts right action. It is to them and those like them that military members need to look at and engage with. For the actions we take echo into eternity, and the warrior has only eyes on eternity. 

I, however, did the cowardly thing and tried to sabotage myself during training. I made sure that I knew everything about what we were doing, so I could make certain errors that would invalidate myself to continue. I pretended that my stick control was horrible and that my menu diving was erratic. The instructors must have had explicit orders to push me. A person with a record like I had wouldn't all of a sudden become stupid. I had no idea what to do, so I decided to be the best at it. If I was forced to participate I would put all my effort into it. 

My mother taught me to always give my best.

***

During this time, I was unsure of what squadron that I was going to be heading towards. It seemed that the 17th Recon Squadron and the 3rd SOS got the first pick of the litter, but would still choose more after graduation. My class time was delayed 3 times, so I did causal work around the squadron going up at the earliest bus with Haas, cleaning the latrines, the GCSs, the training rooms, and the break room. We made popcorn and the first pot of coffee of the day. 

One funny story is that I was berated by a Navy to USAF officer who wailed that my coffee was too weak. He taught me how to make "Navy coffee", where it was so strong you could stand a spoon up in it. I'm honestly surprised that none of the had a heart attack from it. 

Besides the existential dread that I would have to do something that I was not wholly on board to do, I had also started spending time with my peers in the dormitory. Here I am going to make the case to keep men and women separate in the service, and to also ban people from dating or sleeping with one another inside command structures. What I am about to tell you will make late 90s young adult dramas look like Sponge-Bob Square Pants. The pool of putrid vileness starts with one person.

Karen Ruth Daugherty, AKA, Bitchy McCrabbyPants. Curse her name, and may we meet before God one day so that she may be given the justice she deserves, and may she live long in embarrassment and shame for what she has done. 

When the Karen meme started to become popular I did everything I could to spread it. I will not take credit for all of it or starting it, but I will for spreading it to the far reaches of the internet. That it is referenced in the end of the new Borat movie is one of the heights of accomplishment, I'd say.

See, I didn't like her at first. I liked her friend Tracy. But Tracy liked her men dumb and spongy, and for some reason Karen had her eye on me while nearly every male in the dorms had their eye on her giant boobies. She even cheated on me with Haas over Thanksgiving 2006, or tried to, but I never wanted to hear the details. She wanted to get married after a month of dating and I wanted to wait a year. She lied to get out of the dorms, she lied to people about our relationship, she told people that I had "raped her," and I never once got justice. Just punishment. I never once touched her without her consent and I loved her when I was with her the best that I could. 

I did my best to try to figure out what happened. I didn't find out until 2009, when I had tried to join the 11th RS as an instructor and she, again, spread lies to prevent me from succeeding, and sent back to the 3rd SoS not knowing exactly what I had done to deserve the treatment. I went up my chain of command in 3 different squadrons and all I was told was that "I knew what I did, and until I came clean I would be punished for it." Lots of fucked up shit happened to me.

When I went to MSGT Joseph Lovato, he was too busy playing fantasy baseball and taking money from the younger Airmen in the squadron to give a flying fuck. This guy would be scheduled to fly, claim that he had too much office work, task Haas and I to fly his shifts, then take our hours from us. The good ol' boys club in the 15th only flew to keep their currencies so they could get flight pay, and they only flew the easiest missions available so they could either "study" or do fucking nothing. 

A few of the Airmen on the up-and-up would go and "volunteer" twice a week, and scheduling would give them the full day off. They'd go do an hour somewhere then go downtown to party and drink. One of the Airmen who graduated with me from the 11th had a sexual relationship with a married female master sergeant, and she would help give him better marks on this enlisted performance reports. 

Speaking of EPRs, MSGT Joseph Lovato gave me a 3 on my first one for no other reason that he, "didn't believe any Airman deserved more than a 3 for their first EPR." My second one, done by boring Sergeant Robert SNOOR of the 3rd SoS while I was deployed was a 2 (non-referal), not signed by me or my commander, and placed within the system without due cause. He was best friends with Bitchy McCrabbyPant's former husband at the time and had decided to take it upon himself to ruin my career. He belittled me, degraded me, humiliated me. Everything a bad leader would do. Both of them were absolute garbage human beings and a disgrace to anyone who had ever served and will ever serve. Cut from the same filthy cloth as Rynearson. Putrid spirits who never pulled their weight and abused their power. 

Right before I deployed I started receiving messages over a website called "MySpace" from somebody named "InfernalDarkness". They kept telling me how they wish that I die and that they hope that an insurgent chops off my head. I tried to respond a few times to figure out who it was, but then ended up calling them a coward and telling them to fuck off. Very similar in writing styles to Rynearson's tabloid blog, full of contradiction and hate. 

Eventually, I believe, since they couldn't get a response from me they started sending those things out to other people in the squadron. I was only called up into the office of the First Sergeant because that group was accusing me of sending those to them. I showed him the ones that had been sent to me weeks prior to the ones he showed me and he told me to ignore it and to not respond. 

In February of 2007, before Valentines Day, was the incident where I killed a child and MSGT Joseph Lovato told me to just write it off as a dog like the screener said. That weekend I tried to go out with the drama kids, and to try to make it up and be friends again with McCrabbyPants, but at the end of the night she told me that "she never loved me, she always hated me, and that she wished that I would just die. She used me to get over her ex." Then when I left the car in silence and shame, she played the victim to the rest of them. 

That was when the seeds of hate took root and I swore that I would get justice before God for what was done.

In May 2007, an event happened called the "patch-swap". 7/10ths of the 15th Recon Squadron was simply given a 3rd SOS patch, and all the equipment was transferred over to JSOC. I could get into the details of how much of a mess this was but I'll just keep it simple. Pretty much every document and video was errased and or thrown into the fire. I know because that was what they tasked me to do. The 15th enlisted leadership felt this was a way to start over, by just taking the Good Ol' Boys club they really took few people who had the work ethic to do the job. Another reason they took so long to restart themselves, because they floundered at the simplest tasks. 

I deployed to an uneventful summer, where I would cry on top of the Hardened Air Shelter nearly every dusk because I felt so alone and trapped. When I came back to Las Vegas, and into the welcoming arms of the 3rd SOS, Karen Ruth Daugherty had spent my absence trying to ruin me. She would cry if she had to give a brief and I was in the room. People would say the worst things about me while I was there as if I was not. Another Shithead Sergeant, Yugi Smith, yelled at me when my had was blown away in the wind and I didn't chase after it in order to get to the brief in time. When he saw my name tag, his exact words were, "oh, I heard about you. Everyone says you're a piece of garbage airman. 

I never got a chance to prove myself. To them, I just was because they couldn't take their eyes off a woman's chest. 

the dragon

Everyone likes to socialise on social media but when it comes to socialism to take care of another somehow that rootword takes on different meaning. 

We conserve our finances for a rainy day, we conserve our energy for moments of action, but when it comes to conservativeism more is wasted than is saved. 

We want our liberties to go to our libraries while carrying our guns and smoking our favoured herb, but when it comes to liberalism we lose more of our self responsiblities than gain. 

We must not confuse words or ideals for action. Any idiot can make any stupid claim they want, but it is only through evidence and action do we come to truth. I think I have done more and shown myself to be a true man, regardless of what anyone feels of my expression of pain. The USA government gave me that pain. The USA government has lied to its people and will turn against anyone who tries to keep it on the straight and narrow. The USA government is only an institution and is ran by man. It is a system that needs to have it's gutters cleaned every so often. Present Thomas "jungle fever" Jefferson gave the recommendation that it happen every 10 years. Present Lincoln said that, "once the people get weary of their right to amend the constitution, they'll use they're revolutionary right to start again."

For the last 8 years I have travelled much of the world and have spoken to well over a million people, with my work reaching countless more, and will for centuries to come, whether I will or no. I have sought only for people to see the truth and have only spoken truth for the betterment of all that I have ever done. 

I don't understand why the are so many humans that have tried to hurt me further. The same people who should have my reverence and praise for teaching me wisdom and action. If I were to guess the meaning behind this, is that those with ulterior motives have gained too much power,  and that the vast majority of those who serve in the government are simply unwilling pawns with no safe avenue of escape.

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't," one veteran who still works for special forces told me recently. There are many who are on my side, he said a lot more than I realize when I responded that I feel like I've just been alone he said, "you're still alive, yes?"

It was a very sobering talk, and probably one I needed to have 5 years ago. 

He said that everyone's livelihood is in the hands of a few who have a stranglehold on the entire community. 

So in my future posts I shall be sharing what the 3rd Special Operations Squadron Dragons inherited from the 15th Recon Squadron "Cotton Pickers" (Seriously their mascot, or was when I was in). And a very very serious look into the leadership structure that ended up being the sword plunged into the warrior spirit. 

The individuals I worked with in JSOC gave me my heart back after the members of the 15th gossip girls tried to ruin me over a lie. In fact, it was Donna Mae Williams who I flew with for months, and a select others, who saved me from that trash. Light Col. CALTAG gave me the opportunity to prove myself, even though the enlisted trash he was fed placed me in a very negative light. And everyone in the 3rd knows how hard I worked. I was the first MAC qualified sensor from my class. I was the first to volunteer to deploy and fire a hellfire missile. I was the first dual qualified sensor oppressor/ mission controller, who was competent enough to fly on my own. I was the first to break 6000 hours in 4 years, I had 36 aerial achievement medals whose stringent requirements is no where near the reflection of my dedication.

I am the 300th Dragon of the 3rd Special Operations Squadron and I will forever be that even if you've removed my name from the plaque. I dealt with so much bullshit that it was only eventual that this was going to come out. I am the greatest thing that squadron will ever produce. I earned my rank of Staff Sergeant, and I embody the fury of every sergeant who has witnessed the gross incompetence that I have. 

Duty is forever in one's heart. Who taught me duty better than the 3rd SOS? Who instructed me to always be honest? The brits and JSOC. 

Conventional air force guys would say things like, "that's not the real air force." Or, "do as I say not as I do." Bullshit. Lazy fucking bullshit. 

Killing me won't get rid of this stain upon the USA military's honor. Silencing me will only make me louder.  Intimidating me will only bring you fear. 

Return with honor. That was the final thing JSOC taunt me. I intend to do exactly that.

In the spirit of Servitude

 In our modern day USA, we thank murders for their service while degrading the grief that they carry. I think in all my journey I have wanted my warrior brothers and sisters to share in my grief. That we all shared this grief. 

If that is true then the USA is full of whatever is the opposite of warrior. I had once thought my disgust and horror at our actions would disappear but they have only grown in depth and width to drown out everything in scope. 

I have submitted myself to the highest of courts in the world to bring light to my own actions. I have born witness to nothing else. I don't give a flying fuck about anything else. I murdered for the USA government, I have earned my right to speak with the price of blood. Those in my city council that are afraid that I would do "physical harm"... grow the fuck up. I yelled at you because you're fucking disgusting and you lack discipline and fairness in your work. You are servants of MINE, as an average citizen of the united states, who served with honor for 8 years, who EARNED the rank of Staff Sergeant dispite all your fucking petty meddling, I who spilt blood in my service do get to yell at you when your actions have violated my home. 

I should have known that in the spirit of tradition the American Government would fail even somebody who was, and is, as loyal as I am. Not once, despite all the misery I've been put through, have I changed my course. I would rather burn America to the ground and see what her people build from the ashes than give the power that we wield over to tyrants and monsters.

You forget that I'm the consumate warrior, and that I am fair in all my judgements and dealings. I have to be to adhere to the spirit of Justice and Battle. For that reason alone I have placed the proverbial ball in the court of the lowest kind, so that we may see that they were never there to help anyone, especially one so faithful of a servant as I have been. 

If I were to tell my son anything when he got older, it would have been this; "you will always serve something, it might as well be something greater than yourself. That doesn't mean needless sacrifice, but the attunement of your will, power, and energy to be most efficient to encounter the problems that society faces today."

In light of all that has been happening in the world, we need leaders who choose that. My drill sergeants were the greatest men that I had ever met in the military. I think about them and the words that they gave me all the time. "Lead, Follow, Get out of the way!" "Integrity first, service before self, and excellence in all we do."

But mostly I think about the times they pulled me aside and told me to pay attention, especially to the bad leaders, because they'll show you how it is not to be done. 

I remember specifically a tale of two master sergeants in the 15th recon squadron. One of them was my morally bankrupt supervisor and another one would call an "unassuming man." One day we were in the break room waiting to go into the briefing, and the unassuming one started vacuuming like it was his normal thing. My newly appointed MSGT dickwad supervisor stood up and "made an example" of all the young airman in the room for "making" a master sergeant vacuume. 

Now, I understand the level of manipulation that goes on in the military, but from my perspective, I have more respect for the MSGT that vacuumed without a word and showed me through his actions what was to be done, than the idiot who expected everyone to obey his every whim. From there, if we look at the military's Enlisted Force Structure, the Unassuming Warrior did exactly his duty, which consists of nothing more than responsibilities added to his Airmanship. 

From here, I have to caveat, that I'm going to reveal a lot of JSOC not out of spite, but because it inherited a lot of garbage from the Conventional guys trying to suck dicks to get promotions. Here I will be revealing no mission details, but more of the culture that plagued the drones and will to it's bitter end. 

For one, it created a pretender like Ratnearson, somebody who has shown a moderate amount of effort simply to discredit a man who cries about murder. I'm unsure if I have to spell that out for anyone, whether it will be in the court of law or otherwise, I was betrayed by my country, I never betrayed it. I say that as somebody who wanted to believe the lies they told me. Those that say that I had a choice, there are many who say otherwise. If I say that I had a choice, I chose the path of cowardice instead of the path of my heart. I submitted to their rule and authority, not unquestioningly, but undoubtedly for sure. 

If what I have to say is detrimental to the USA, then they should have thought about that before destroying another generation of our strongest individuals in an endless and worthless war. 

My drill sergeants told me that the military was a dictatorship protecting a democracy. I've thought a lot about that over the years, and I've come to another conclusion. The military needs to be a kingship protecting a democracy. 

I say kingship because that's the only words that I have to describe the level of discipline that I hold my military leadership to. Or did, at any rate. I held them up to the highest standards, and even in the ancient classes of laborer, merchant, scholar, and warrior, the warrior class was also the class of kings. To face death like we have is to laugh in the face of false rulers. That's why the law doesn't matter. Any idiot can make a rule to imprison another idiot. Warriors are only concerned with eternity.

The disgusting slime that make up my city council are simply another reflection of the greater problem. My only concern with their blood is that they live long enough to see true justice, even if that means living forever. I am unconcerned with religion, I am unconcerned with the law. I am unconcerned with the destruction that mankind faces, because really all this is a making of our own endeavor. 

The solution to all of it is obvious. The only way forward is for the veteran community to rise up to their place in leadership of our society, instead of being a broken clump of nothings doing whatever dog duty that we're told. We are not dogs in the dark. We are men, and we should be acting like it. 

Any idiot can kill another idiot. I'm not interested in being an idiot again, thank you. But I will be loud as fuck just to piss you off.

How many messengers must god send before you stop killing them?

The Full Reveal

 "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what they've done."

Revelations 22:12

Holy Bible

Abrahamic Faith, Branch: Christianity, Modern Day

***


I think it is time that I start expanding on the truth that I have born witness to in my lifetime. But first there is something that I must come clean about. 

Many of my posts on social media have been nothing more than to directly antagonize a man who has violently stalked me since 2014. I never would have realized that the members of my own community and government would use a false testimony of a man who has never met me, and claims to know me through his obsessive viewing of my personal interviews. Up until I spent time in jail because of this man, it was mostly a game for me. A way for me to express my anger at an individual who represents all the bad qualities of every senior leadership that I've ever had. A man who is cowardly by nature, a gossip, and an endangerment to others because he places his own ego first before the consideration of truth or justice. 

A man who I will see in the witness stand give this false testimony in front of God and the entire world.

Something that I'd never really thought I'd have to say. 

Since leaving Jail my life has been in constant danger. Police stalk me as I walk my dog, follow if I'm in a vehicle, and have most likely kept surveillance of me since standing up to the bullies who have taken over my town and made it too expensive to live. The court prosecutor, Matt Jennings, should be disbarred for using my stalker's tabloid blog as his own findings, purposely seeking to damage my terrible reputation. 

If you can't tell I don't care about my reputation, all I care about is the truth and justice. I know that the only thing that I've ever done wrong in this lifetime is to pull that trigger. I was a good Christian boy until they told me that god wanted me to do it. And that wasn't the God that my great grandfather told me about. 

I know in my heart that I was always meant to be a warrior and a priest, but I cannot call what I participated in the military as anything close to warriorship, and when I tried to step into that world my anxieties and guilt crushed my will to go on and the emotional burden gave me a glimpse into hell. I'm unsure of what happened the week of my injury. I gave it my best and I wish they would have let me die in that hospital. I'm sorry, JSOC, but you may have done a disservice by letting me live with that guilt and the hatred for the scum you have let among your ranks. I guess I feel like I was lied to. I wanted to believe in all my heart in the mission, the fight. I committed the Art of War to heart for you. Of course, my pilots would admonish me for "being a philosopher." 

When I went to Norway I went to connect with my ancestor's gods. I never told anyone this, because mythology is so looked down upon my many people in my journey. I tell it now because this is important to discuss before Samhain. 

I am the Last and Only Living priest of the God Tyr. I did the old rituals. I called the old magics. I was filled with the spirit of Justice and Battle. My blood burned and my soul burst. My son's mother almost poisoned my spirit. The pain my heart has endured.... 

And the pain it will endure. I know it. I think that it is this spirit that has protected and guided me through everything I've done. I say this now because as my previous blog, a Joint Special Operations Command knife was thrown at me. It has the engraving "So That Others May Live," engraved on the blade. The Pararescue motto. JSOC has put a hit out on my life. The ones that really taught me everything. The ones that taught me to "Return With Honor." What I have been seeking all along. 

I have told the truth in every bit of publication I have given my consent to. I believe that the path of right action is the only way to go. In order to get into a place of silence we need to loudly address the injustices of the world. The only way for JSOC and the military to gain their honor back is to never let themselves be used for political gain. The Way of the Warrior dictates that battle can only be met honorably if the leaders who send one to battle are righteous. To be sent into battle by unrighteous men, even if the soldiers have righteous hearts, is a sentence to whatever hell awaits one in the afterlife. To take any life is murder, no matter the cause. 

Now we have a government who lets their own people die, and blames them for it. Keeps them in abject poverty instead of adhering to the responsibility of taking care of those who have been put under their charge. The political leadership of both the Democrats and the GOP is goddaweful and needs to be dismantled immediately. 

Here is what I'm calling for. I don't think that the American People has what it takes to make a revolutionary change that will be beneficial for all. I think the police are corrupt and the politicians are tyrants holding on to whatever scraps of power they can by exercising arrests of free men and women everywhere. 

There needs to be a military coup. If everything that JSOC taught me was true, honor, integrity, justice, then this is the only way to for the military to redeem themselves. I will go into detail about why. Donald Trump and his entire cabinet needs to be arrested and placed under military arrest. Same goes with Wallstreet and all the Lobbyists that work for corporate interests. Since corporations are now people, the individuals that are their CEOs, that have placed profit over the welfare of the people and government should be arrested and tried as well. Then we go with Senior Democratic and Republican leadership, for betraying this country to the highest bidder. 

Here is why this needs to happen and the process that will go along with it. 

Without the US Military's help, her people are vulnerable. Veterans are not getting the care they need, the entire VA is a joke. There are great people inside it, but the system that they are forced to collide with every day is meant to help the veterans as little as possible. Sun Tzu says in the Art of War that no country ever gained victory from fighting a protracted war. Our warriorship has been betrayed by the merchant and political classes.

The Tyranny that we are told about being overseas only waited until the Strong men and women were gone to those imaginary fights. They have taken the technology that was created to protect our troops in battle and now subjugate their own people with it.  The police, whom I had always trusted growing up, has now been infiltrated by mobsters and criminals. A gang unto themselves. 

I love honorable guards. That's what I used to think of the police as, Knights patrolling the kingdom. I was an idealist as a child. I never feared  a thing because I had thought all the terrible things were history and fiction. I remember when my sister's father went to war in the Gulf War, I remember people saying that we won it so fast that there would never be a war again. We showed how superior our might was. 

It was the police at home that kept the peace. But as I've grown up and realize is that the police forgot discipline and duty. Not to the Law, anyone can make up rules, but to the protection of all in the community, especially the weak and those that couldn't fight for themselves. I would rather have bored guards that are paid well to maintain their discipline than busy guards who make shit up to do because they're disgruntled with life. It was lazy police officers that jump to conclusions and have given me terrible times. I believe with better detective work, that the protectors of my community would have been on my side, that those that seek to represent justice are doing so. 

Is that too much to ask? To be better? 

Do you know what Enlightenment or Revelation is? Simply a reveal of yourself. That's it. To see yourself fully and unjudgementally. To understand yourself, and to be the best representative of that self, wherever you go. It's really not hard. What is that Self? It is no thing, but it produces the most wonderful things that you will never find a molecule of. Love, Mercy, Justice. These things are uniquely ours to give. 

So how are they measured? They are measured by intelligence, emotion, and intuition. We all know when we've been wronged or when we've wronged somebody. There are many time's it's unintentional, and I think that too many people care about other's personal opinions of themselves. Which is one of the reasons that I will always win against my stalker rat because he really cares about my opinion of him. Really the only reason that I will win against anyone in my stance for justice because I stand for Truth and nothing but the Truth, so help me, God.

I also encourage others to take a good look at themselves. I don't speak from a very high platform. I'm guilty of murder. I just know what I've done and I've done everything in my power to bring me peace with it. 

Right now I sleep like a baby and I've never felt better. However, the pain in my heart has never disappeared. It's like a permanent wound in my soul. The darkness is gone, purged in the fire of the old world, but the broken heart has never healed. That's why I can never take a leadership position in anything nor accept any measure of power. I've done everything I can to distance myself from everything but the truth. 

The truth is this. I am furious at what has gone on in my country. That I have been lied to, harassed, stalked, and violently attacked for trying to do the right thing. The manipulation of my heart has been astounding, and I leave everyone with what they have taken. All debts are forgiven. All trespasses are forgiven. I know that I will not get justice in my own home town. It is too corrupt and the people have proven to me to be too few and too cowardly, too weak. 

That is why the military has to step up and restore their honor, and have the discipline to step down and hand the government over to the People when those that have abused their power have been arrested and charged with treason of the highest order. We need warriors who are the greatest servants to humanity that it has ever known. And that is to come home and fight for your people. We need you. All your veteran brothers and sisters need you. Otherwise the fall of America will be too great to recover from.